What Do I Want
by Leanne1
Summary: I need help, I need some suggestions of what to do next. Any ideas? Anything at all, even if its small, as long as you dont mind me possible using them. Please! even if it means making changes. as long as you dont sue me
1. Chapter 1

Claire comes around and Tess is next to her bed. She is going to be fine and she hasn't lost the baby. It's the night of the accident. Nick has gone off with Alex and finds out Peter has left. His mother has tried to get in contact with Alex but he's all confused. Claire's near death experience and recent revolution has shocked both Claire and Alex, making them both think in a different light, or at least making them question things, and make certain decisions.  
  
Claire was so grateful to Alex for what he had done for her, but the big question was what would happen next? After she had come to and found out she and her baby were fine, she managed to get Tess to go home. This gave Claire a chance to think about everything. Did she love Alex? She had to get her own feelings in order so she could handle everything else. The answer to that was easy. Yes! She always had, but deep down, she knew nothing would ever come of it. She still didn't think any differently, but for her own satisfaction, she did wonder. They had always been best friends. They had argued, fought, physically, tried to get a rise out of each other and were always there to help each other when they could. That was a true friendship, but could it ever be more? When she told him about marrying Peter that day, he just wanted to cut all ties with her. Why? Was he trying to make a point? Was he trying to make her choose between her best friend and the man she supposedly loved? Or was he jealous? Did he not want to be around her if she was with someone else? But if he did love her, would he react that way or just tell her, or make it more obvious? She wondered then thought better. He was just trying to stop her from making a big mistake. He was just a friend doing what friends do, like look for her when she'd raced Peter and fell off the horse. Then he had, as a friend, helped her to face her fears and jump again. But he had told her he loved her. He was drunk though. He was totally out of it. He couldn't have meant it. No matter how true she wanted it to be. But she did really want it to be. She had nearly died; maybe she should bite the bullet and tell him the truth. If it all went wrong she could. could, say that it was her hormones and his fault for saying he loved her in the first place. She couldn't though. She didn't even think she could face him. Claire knew she would have to because it wasn't like she could run away. She was stuck in that hospital bed for weeks, although not if she could help it. She thought she may have done something terrible, putting Alex in that situation. The next question, was, was Peter still around? If not, would he be back? She thought for ages and finally made the decision that had to be made. She would have to tell the truth. She may not like it, but she couldn't hurt Alex, or even ask him to lie for her. Peter may be the person she hated the most, but her was unfortunately the father of her child. It may not be so bad now, knowing that she was not going to lose Drovers. He had no other hold over her  
  
Why hadn't she told him? They were supposed to be best friends, yet Claire hadn't told him about something so important. What did she want from him? How did he feel? And what was he willing to do? These were the questions going through Alex's mind. He knew he would have to talk to her at some point, but wasn't looking forward to it. Seeing her unconscious already was painful enough. She was in a bad way and just thinking about what she must have gone through turned his insides. He had to admit it now. He loved Claire! He, Alex Ryan, loved Claire McLeod and had for probably most of his life, but more so recently or at least noticed it recently. He hated her being upset. Even if they only ended up being 'best friends' he still had to help. The next day he went to see her, having not spoken to anyone. She was asleep when he got there, so he watched her, a smile creeping onto his face. She seemed so peaceful he thought to himself as he pulled a piece of hair out of her face. As she woke up though, he regained his composure and there was a lot of tension between them. Claire was shocked. Especially to find him that early and waiting around for her to wake up. "Alex? Hey" she said feebly "How you feeling McLeod?" she felt tense, especially when he was using her second name. He seemed to do it to keep a distance between them. She tried to sit up but she was still in a lot of pain. He looked concerned, but tried to keep his cool. He was Alex Ryan after all, the same way she was Claire McLeod who tried desperately to not show just how much pain she was actually in. "there you go, cant you do as your told for once eh? Typical of you McLeod!" the doctors had told her not to move if she could help it and she was going to try and sit up. She didn't say anything back. She bit her tongue which was hard. There was a moment's awkward silence between the two until Claire couldn't take it any more! "Alex, I'm so sorry about what happened yesterday. I didn't mean it to happen. It just kind of did, and I'm going to tell Peter the truth. I can do that now I have the letter" "What letter?" something else he hadn't told him, he thought. "To stop us loosing Drovers" "You nearly lost Drovers? What else haven't you told me? First of all you were going to marry him, then he was gonna take your home, I presume that was his fault, then you tell him I'm the father of the baby that I'm guessing is his. I thought we were friends Claire. Why didn't you tell me anything?" Everything Claire had been bottling in for days, the fear, anxiety, her hormones, feelings, and her pain came gushing out. She couldn't hold it in anymore. And as much as she didn't want it to be then with Alex there, she just started crying. Alex felt rotten. He didn't mean to lose it. What started out as a civilised conversation, run away with him as his feelings grew. He went to grab her hand, to say how sorry he was but she turned away in embarrassment. Alex started to pace, pissed off with himself. He had only seen Claire cry once before when they were tiny. It was when she cut her finger. It wasn't even a big cut, but it was after her mother had died. She was trying to be so strong, as Claire did, and then something so tiny set her off. Claire finally calmed down. As she slowly turned around, she noticed Alex was turned away form her, standing at the side of the room, as if he wanted to get away from her. He did, but because he hated seeing her like that and not being able to do anything about it. A quiet voice came from the bed when she finally plucked up the courage to say something. "Alex" He wanted to pick her up into his arms, wisk her away and make it all better. "So McLeod, what you got yourself into this time?" She actually felt slightly more at ease that time. He had his Alex element about him, trying to make light of it. She could handle that Alex, the one she was used to. He was still keeping his distance though. She slowly told him the story. The baby, Drovers and the marriage proposal. ".I was confused and just needed time to think, which I have done now. I'm going to speak to Peter as soon as possible and tell him the truth. I'm sorry I dragged you into my mess Alex, I had no right to do that to you" "You can't tell him the truth, he's gone away" He could see the relief in her face even though they weren't really looking at each other but avoiding eye contact. It made him feel better. "He'll find out sooner or later though." She knew deep down he would, but at least him not being there then was a relief to her. "Do you love him McLeod?" "No!" she was a little surprised by that question. He knew the answer but just needed to make sure. "I'll do it McLeod!" "What?" "Be the baby's father" "You cant" she was very shocked at what he'd said. Why would he even offer to do something like that? "Why not?" he was shocked to. He'd offered to do this for her and she'd refused. But then she was independent Claire McLeod! "You don't understand Alex, what having a child means. There's no point being called the father when you won't be one. You'd have to move in or something so we'd have to act like a proper couple. Having a baby is a full time job. You can't be there until you get bored or when it's convenient. You couldn't just slot us in around your social life. There would be no more other girls. Your life would be put on hold. What would you do when your one true love came along, and you couldn't do anything? All of the questions, how, when, why, do they love each other, are they going to get married? And if we did pull it off and you decided you'd made a huge mistake, I couldn't bare to have my heart broken again!" Alex was about to defend himself and Claire knew it so she said spoke quickly. "I think you should leave" "But Claire" "I've made up my mind! I can do this on my own. It's my problem. I think you need to go and tell your parents the truth. I need to get some rest!" Alex stormed out and punched the wall. Claire was in agony. She hated what she had said, even though it had been for the best. All she had to do now was hope that Peter never found out. The next thing Claire knew, Alex had stormed back into the room. He was fuming. Claire was just about to tell him to leave when he shouted "shut up McLeod!" they made eye contact for the first time. "Claire." he said in a softer voice ".do you love me?" "What?" "It's a simple question!" He said in a harder voice "What do you think you can just waltz in here acting like my knight in shining armour and save me, because you can't and I'm no damsel in distress!" "Just answer the damn question McLeod!" He was starting to get angry and Claire didn't know what to do or say. Of course she loved him but she couldn't let him know that. Could she? "Just leave Alex!" her heart was beating faster and faster she thought it was going to leave her chest. "If you won't be honest. I will. I would gladly be your baby's father. I would have no problem changing my life, and I wouldn't have to lie and you wouldn't have to worry about me finding 'the one', Claire, I love you!" "Come on Alex, we both know that's a lie" she didn't mean to say that, it just kind of came out. "Claire, you're 'the one' you always have been" at that moment he kissed her. She knew he wasn't lying. "Alex I love you to" He got to hold Claire in his arms and finally made everything ok. He felt fantastic. He loved Claire, and she loved him. 


	2. Chapter 2

Claire fell asleep; she had a long way to go before she would be better and Alex knew she was in a lot of pain even though she would never admit it. As Alex sat and watched her, he thought. He thought about how he thought the baby that was left on the doorstep was his. It was hard at first but he bonded with the baby. His favourite moment was not watching Tess with the baby, but when he was bathing it and Claire was there. It was like they were a real family and he felt so happy, complete and it all fit together. He would now have a chance to have that feeling again, but this time it was real because he was going to be a dad, and with Claire's child It still sounded odd to him. Him and Claire! It sounded good though! He decided that he would have to lay some ground rules though, and there was still a lot to discuss, but at that point none of it seemed to matter. He had Claire and everything was going to be perfect. He had another important matter to attend to first. He loved Claire and there was something that he wanted to do with Claire that he had never even thought about doing before. He gave Claire a kiss on the forehead and left quickly. Alex had really thought this through. He was serious like he had never been before. He went to Drovers run, stormed in the house to Claire's room, raided her draws until he found what he wanted and stormed off to town. He knew exactly what he was getting and when he got it he went back to the hospital. He did get sidetracked slightly. He saw many people in town who knew himself or Claire and everyone was bursting with questions "how's Claire?" "How's the baby?" "I can't believe your going to be a father" "Alex Ryan a father?" "When did it happen?" "What's going to happen now?" He didn't quite know what to say, so he just did the typical Alex thing and stormed through the lot like a bull. He just wanted to be with Claire again. He rode along in his ute with a huge grin on his face, he couldn't help himself, he wanted to see the look on Claire's face. When he got to her room, the first thing he noticed was that she was awake, and looked dreadful, she was so pale and just didn't seem like Claire. When she saw him, she smiled and her eyes twinkled. He just smiled back "I'm glad you're awake" "I'm glad your back, where did you go?" "There was something important I needed to do" he walked over to the bed that she was sitting up in. "I feel a bit stupid" "Alex Ryan, feel stupid? Has hell frozen over?" "ha ha very funny McLeod!" He looked uncomfortable, when it came to doing what he wanted to do, he didn't feel so confidant. Claire started to look worried and when he noticed he laughed slightly "It's ok, don't look so worried" "well why do you look uncomfortable?" Alex cleared his throat and said "I have a question to ask you" he looked more confidant and he stood up straight and looked right at Claire. She lifted her eyebrow as if to say, uh oh, what you done now? In her Claire way. Alex pulled something out of his pocket but Claire didn't see what it was. She was starting to get nervous. Claire hardly ever got nervous, at least not that anyone else would notice. Alex looked so serious. "Claire, you know I love you!" she nodded slowly with a confused look on her face "well.." he got down on one knee at that moment, not daring to lose eye contact with Claire for one moment. He thought he might lose his nerve and he didn't want to miss the astonishment and disbelief that was spreading across Claire's face. ".Claire McLeod, will you marry me?" he opened the box and Claire couldn't believe her eyes, let alone what she had heard. It was all happening so fast. Alex Ryan wanted to get married, settle down, and with her! He was serious! She just stared speechless, a first for Claire. Alex's face dropped from the smile to embarrassment. "Well." he prompted worried for a moment that he had made a complete prat out of himself. She soon came to her senses. "I don't know what to say, I'm speechless" was all she was able to mumble. "You, speechless? That's a first. Yes might be a good answer you silly cow. I don't do this everyday you know McLeod!" She laughed and so did he. "YES!" she exclaimed. Alex felt a wave of relief come over him. He had started to imagine everyone laughing at him when the story of him proposing to Claire McLeod got out and her saying no. Not only that, he would have seriously been heartbroken deep down. He put the ring on her finger and cuddled her so close to him. He gave her such a passionate kiss and she gave as good as she got. He sat down with a smile of satisfaction on his face. She looked at the ring in disbelief. "How did you know what size, and what ring." she trailed off as he looked very pleased with himself. "Do you remember when we were teenagers and I got you pissed. One of the things you started to talk about was you mothers engagement ring. You were upset because you thought you'd never get married and how you wanted a ring that was simple, with one tiny diamond. Then you kissed me just before you ran off into the bushes and threw up." Claire remembered and went slightly red "I can't help it if kissing you made me feel sick" she said. "You never could handle you drink. That was the problem. And I can't help it if I was so irresistible to you" "Like you said, I was drunk, but I can hold my drink now. I could probably drink you under the table!" Alex just laughed "yeah well I'll hold you to that in 9 months" Claire laughed to. No matter what, they could not help but have a dig at each other. It was what made their relationship so special. Claire looked at her ring "I can't believe you remembered" "I loved you deep down then" "why didn't you say anything?" "You were drunk and puking your guts up. I was worried you'd laugh at me or think I got you drunk so I could sleep with you" "I did for a split second, then realised I was the one who kissed you and was throwing up in the bushes. I felt a complete idiot" they both sat there remembering the evening. "I think you'll need this back" Alex passed Claire a ring "where did you get that from?" Claire asked "from your room, I needed to know what size ring you were" Alex said in a matter of fact tone. Claire looked really tired. "Claire, are you ok?" "I'm fine, why, you having doubts?" "No, although we need to set down some ground rules!" he said with a mischievous look on his face. "Yes I think we do to!" Claire said with an equally mischievous look on her face. She felt awful, and Alex could see it in her face. "I think you need some rest. I'm going to go, but I'll be back later ok?" "Give me some time to come up with some ground rules eh?" "I bet you already have a list as long as your arm" he kissed her and reluctantly left. He knew she wouldn't rest unless he had gone. He gave a sigh of relief when he walked out. She had said yes! 


	3. Chapter 3

Alex wanted to tell the whole world that he was going to marry Claire. He couldn't though. He had to talk everything through with Claire and tell everyone together. They were to be man and wife after all. He went back to Killarney and avoided his family. He went straight to work. He couldn't hide the permanent grin on his face, so he would have to hide his face. He rode off in his Ute to do some work. He hadn't been there long when Nick drove up. "Dad said I'd find you here" "What do you want?" was Alex's reply. "What are you looking so happy about? Would have nothing to do with you being in town today?" Alex didn't say anything "Come on then, who is she?" Nick teased. Alex again said nothing "Fine if that's the way you're gonna be. Tess said she saw you at Drovers, but you didn't say hello, just stormed in the house and then left" "I had to pick up some papers. I was in a hurry" Alex blurted out. "The other reason I came to see you was I was wondering when you were going to see Claire. You've got to sort this thing out. I've got mum and dad on my back to start with." "I'm busy" "Alex you cant just ignore this. If not for you, for Claire and the baby" "I said I'm busy" Alex was starting to get annoyed now. "Alex I really think you should go and see her. Soon!" "I already have!" Nick was shocked. "When?" "Yesterday if you must know" "and.?" "And were going to sort it all out. Now if you don't mind, I have work to do." And with that Alex walked off. Nick went off to Drovers where Tess was on the phone to the hospital. They had called and Tess had gone pale. She put the phone down. "I need to get to the hospital." "What is it, what's wrong?" "Its Claire, she relapsed." "Ok, I'll take you" they both got in the car and got to the hospital. They waited for about an hour before a doctor said anything. "Your sister is still critical, but hopefully she'll be fine" Tess couldn't sit still. She felt sick just thinking about what might happen to Claire. Another hour passed and the nurse came and spoke to her and Nick. "Claire is going to be fine. She's no worse than what she was and she's stable now. I am afraid to say she did lose the baby. She doesn't know and I think it would be best coming from you. You can see her if you like, but she's not awake yet." "Thank you" Tess started to walk into the room, fighting back the tears, she held Nick's hand tightly as she took him into the room with her. Claire looked so peaceful. Tess was so grateful that her sister was going to be ok, just upset and anxious about what Claire would do when she found out she'd lost the baby. Tess and Nick sat down next to Claire's bed. Tess held her hand, when she realised that Claire was wearing an engagement ring. She was shocked and pointed it out to Nick who shrugged his shoulders. Tess had thought about Peter being back, but couldn't believe Claire would ever go back to him. They were being silent in the room as if someone was listening to them. All these thoughts about Claire, the baby, Peter and Claire's frame of mind were going through Tess' head when Claire started to come to. "Claire?" Tess whispered "Claire, it's me, Tess" "mmmm" "Claire its ok, you're going to be fine. I'm here don't worry" Claire slowly opened her eyes as she came to. She looked at Tess, and saw the sad look on her face "Tess? What's happened?" "Its ok Claire, you had a relapse, but you're going to be fine." Tess looked at Nick for a second and Claire knew something was wrong. "How you feeling Claire?" "Tess just tell me what's wrong." "Claire I'm so sorry," she looked away but she was still holding Claire's hand. "Claire, you lost the baby" Tess said quietly. Claire heard her though, and a tear fell from her eye, that she quickly wiped away. It was the only one she shed. All of these feelings came to Claire. Sadness, anger, confusion, pain and frustration. She didn't know what to do, so she just laid there in silence. Nick got up and walked out of the room. "Claire, are you ok?" "I'm fine; I think I'm going to get some sleep though, so if you don't mind..." "Sure Claire, I'll be close by if you need me. You know I'm here for you" Tess got up, gave Claire a squeeze of the hand and left the room. When she got out, she ran straight into Nick's arms and just started to cry. Claire laid in her bed feeling numb. All she wanted was Alex. She thought of nothing else, but of wanting Alex to grab her in his arms and make her feel safe. She laid there and cried. Deep down she was glad. She didn't want to have Alex raise someone else's baby, and as much as she would have loved it, she didn't want to have Peters baby, but Alex's instead. The tears she was crying were tears of grief though, and eventually she cried herself to sleep. Tess and Nick fell asleep outside and woke the next morning. Tess realised nobody knew where she was, or what had happened, so Nick phoned Drovers, while Tess went into see Claire. Claire was awake and had been sitting there thinking. "Hey, how you feeling?" Tess asked, worried about how Claire was. "I'm fine. Honestly" "Claire I'm your sister, you don't need to pretend to me" Tess gave her a look. "Tess, of course I'm upset, but I'm going to be fine. I have to look forward and get on with my life and I have to concentrate on getting better. I do have a farm to run you know" Claire gave her a look and Tess just smiled at her, still not convinced that Claire really was ok. She was so worried about her. "As long as you know I'm here to talk if you need me" Claire gave a thankful smile and was playing with her ring without Tess knowing. She would be ok. She was still grieving for her baby inside but she was trying to look forward to being with Alex. That was if he still wanted to be with her. She felt really tired, and Tess could tell from the look on her sister's face. "You need some sleep, I'll be outside if you need me" Tess left and spoke to the nurse. The nurse said that her recovery may now take longer, but that she would be back to normal eventually. She would need plenty of rest though, and only family could see her for a short amount of time. She had gone through a lot physically and emotionally, in a very short amount of time. Nick came back and he stood there holding Tess in his arms. She was so upset and had been through a lot herself. Nick looked worried and was concerned about Tess as well as Claire. That was how Alex found them as he walked along the corridor to see his fiancée. He felt immediate panic and started shouting "Claire, Claire?" "Alex what are you doing here?" Tess shouted "Where's Claire, what's happened, is she alright?" he was frantic. "Alex, it's ok; she's going to be fine" "what happened?" "She had a relapse and lost the baby" "can she still have kids?" "Yes but why do you want to know?" "I have to see her!" the nurses panicked when he had started to shout and so called security who wouldn't let him through. "Alex you cant see her, its only family" Tess exclaimed "I AM FAMILY!" he exclaimed "let go of me" the guards were holding him. Nick and Tess looked at each other confused. "Come on mate, she's fine, why do you need to see her so badly?" Nick asked. Tess told the guards it was ok, and so they let go of Alex who was angry and anxious to see Claire. "You can't go in there!" Tess said to him. "Yes I can" Tess grabbed his arm in a feeble attempt to stop him. He did stop through and turned to the worried Tess. She wanted to know why he was reacting the way he was. "You're not family! She shouted at him "why do you need to see her so bad?" "Because I love her and I'm going to marry her!" with that Alex stormed into the room, leaving Nick and Tess standing there, not quite sure whether to believe what Alex had just told them. Alex didn't care what they thought. He just wanted to be near Claire. She was asleep. He held her hand tight, kissed her on the head and stroked her hair while he sat there in relief that she was ok. Claire woke up, took one look at Alex and cried. He cuddled her and told her it was ok, and she was going to be fine. Tess wanted to go in and find out what was going on but Nick persuaded her not to. "If there is something going on between the two of them, then they need some time alone to sort it out" "but why didn't they tell us?" "I don't know, but we'll find out soon enough" Tess knew Nick was right. Claire had calmed down "must be all these drugs there filling me with" she tried to laugh "come on Claire, its me you're talking to" "Alex I'm so glad you're here, I love you so much." "I love you to Claire." Claire started to regain her composure and became the Claire we all know and love. She felt so much better and had got it out of her system. It wasn't to say that she still didn't hurt, but she could now move on and get over it. "What took you so long to get here Ryan?" she smiled. Alex felt a wave of relief go over him when she smiled. That was the smile that told him that Claire McLeod was back and everything was going to be great. Alex was his usual cocky self again. "Well how was I to know, you were going to go all weak on me? Anyway I needed time to think of some ground rules" "oh yeah, about those" "What?" Alex didn't know what to think. "Alex, you know I love you and I do want to marry you?" "Yeah" Alex was worried now "Do you think we can wait a while before we get married, even wait a couple of weeks before we tell anyone were together. I want you all to myself for a while. We haven't even slept together yet, contrary to what some people believe." Alex laughed. Claire blushed slightly. "What?" she asked. "I think it's a bit late" Alex exclaimed. "For what?" Alex scratched his head and pulled a 'do I really have to tell you' face. "Nick and Tess know!" "What! How? When? What did they say?" she couldn't believe it. She was surprised Tess hadn't said anything to her. Tess couldn't help but to interfere. And how could Alex go and tell them about there business! "I ah, they wouldn't let me see you and I lost my temper and shouted it out." He laughed. He was trying to make light of it, especially seeing Claire's annoyed face. "You should have seen their faces. I don't think they quite believed me." "Well where are they?" "I left them outside" "you what?" Claire couldn't quite believe him sometimes although she couldn't help but grin slightly. She would have loved to have seen their faces. "So what do we do now?" she asked. "Well I can tell them I was lying. I can say I'm looking after you as my business partner and best mate. We spend lots of time together and we tell them when we're ready" Alex pulled a cheeky grin, pleased with himself. "I don't think that would work somehow, although I like the idea of you and me spending lots of time together." She smiled at Alex whose face perked up after she had deflated it by disregarding his idea. "I think we need to talk to Nick and Tess" Alex kissed Claire and went to open the door, calling in the anxious Tess and a confused Nick. Tess ran over to Claire. She didn't know how she was feeling, if she really was marrying Alex, and how she was coping with the loss of her baby. "How are you feeling?" she asked, almost exploding with all of the questions she wanted to ask, but didn't dare to. "Better thanks" Claire said, avoiding eye contact with everyone. "So when's the big day then?" Nick asked. Alex and Claire looked at each other awkwardly. Alex was standing in the corner of the room while Nick and Tess were next to Claire's bed "Don't fob me off Claire. I've seen the ring and the look on Alex's face. Now why didn't you tell me?" Claire gave Alex a look for him to tell them. He came striding forward, stepping into the roll, taking charge and acting all macho. "Well." he started. "Me and Claire are getting married, but not yet. And we don't want anyone to know yet. And we also don't want anyone to know we're even seeing each other yet." "That will be hard seeing as the whole town thinks she's still having your baby!" Tess bluntly pointed out. She wished she hadn't said it, but it was something Claire had been thinking about though. "I ah" she began as Alex looked at her. He hadn't thought about that, and didn't know what to say. "I'm going to tell everyone the truth about the baby. Peter can't do anything and he probably won't come back again. He has nothing to come back for. Alex can stop being hassled and he can tell his parents the truth, he was just helping a friend in need." It made sense and everyone agreed with her decision. There was nothing they could have done even if they didn't agree. This was Claire McLeod after all. "So when did it happen between you two?" Tess was dying to know all of the details. "Yesterday" Alex said. They couldn't quite believe that within a day, their siblings had fallen in love and were getting married. "Tess you can't tell anyone" Claire warned her. "I need a drink" Alex said, knowing Claire and Tess needed some time to talk, so he and Nick went to the canteen. Alex couldn't get the grin off of his face. As he and Nick sat down Nick was curious about what had happened. "So?" "What?" "What's been going on with you and Claire?" "I finally came to see her, I realised I didn't want anyone else to have her except me. I said I'd agree to the baby being mine, and we'd move in together. Claire didn't want that, she loved me and I realised that I didn't want to pretend. She didn't make it easy, I can tell ya that." Nick laughed "so when did you propose? Was that why you were at Drovers?" "She nearly died ya know. I nearly lost her. I needed a ring size, and then I went to town, bought a ring, and asked her. She said yes, and I came home when you saw me" "so that's why you looked like the cat who got the cream? Or in this case, the Alex who got the Claire. About time is all I can say" Alex gives him a look of shock. Did everyone know he and Claire were meant to be together except him and Claire? If that was the case, then how come nothing had happened sooner? They started to walk back to Claire's room. "So what happens now?" Nick asked. "We pretend there's nothing going on, while I help Claire get better. I'm gonna tease her rotten" He smirked. He was going to look forward to this. As much as he loved her, he couldn't help but tease and try and get a rise out of Claire. "And what about the baby?" Nick asked. That's when Alex said "I'm glad in a way, but upset for her. I love her!"  
  
Claire couldn't take the grin off of her face and Tess was bursting with questions. It was at that moment that Meg, Jodi and Becky arrived. They were desperate to find out that Claire was ok. Claire felt a little uncomfortable. She didn't want pity and she was trying to hide the ring on her finger. Within one minute everyone was in full flow of questions when Meg's motherly instincts kicked in and noticed Claire was uncomfortable, probably upset deep down and was extremely tired. She ordered everyone to leave and that included Tess. "Come on, you too Tess" "ah, no Meg, I think I'll stay" "No come on" "its ok, I'll just keep her company, that's what sisters are for" "out, now Tess" Meg pulled the face that said 'do as I say or else'. Tess was beat and walked out in a strop. Claire gave a sigh of relief. Then she laughed as she remembered the look on Tess' face. All she could think about was Alex as she looked at her ring. Her hand drifted to her stomach. She was sad but knew it had been for the best. She could still have children as well, and probably would, with the man she loved. She drifted off to sleep thinking about Alex. Tess popped home to get changed while the other three women stayed to make sure Claire was ok.  
  
Alex and Nick came back from the canteen. "I love her!" Alex said rather loudly without knowing who else would hear him apart form Nick. Everyone turned around and stared at him "oh, hi" he said sheepishly. "Who?" said Jodi "Who what?" Alex said trying to play dumb. "Who do you love stupid?" "Alex in love eh?" Becky said teasingly. Alex looked to Nick for help "His helicopter! Alex, in love with a woman! You've got to be joking!" Everyone believed him, laughed and felt stupid for even thinking it was a woman. "What are you doing here?" Meg asked. Alex smiled. He could handle this question. "You expect me to pass up an opportunity like this?" he was looking at blank faces. "She can't go anywhere, and she can't hit me. A perfect opportunity to tease her to death" "all heart Alex" Becky said, not quite believing he could be so cruel and insensitive. Then she realised it was Alex, the man whose one true love was his chopper. "Do you know she lost the baby?" Meg added. Alex's face turned to concern. All the women knew he hadn't been the father and assumed he and Claire had sorted it all out from the way he had been talking. Alex was playing it dumb. "Why didn't you tell me?" Alex asked, turning to Nick "I, I thought you knew" "is she alright?" "She's going to be fine!" Meg answered. "I'm going to go and see her" Before anyone could stop him, he'd gone. Nick stopped anyone following. A grin formed on Alex's face. He loved all of this secrecy stuff. It gave him a thrill.  
  
Claire had woken up as Alex had walked in. "You know, all you women don't have a very high opinion of me" "what makes you think that?" "They think the one true love of my life is my chopper!" "Isn't it?" what sounded like an innocent comment, was actually something Claire needed to be reassured about. He leant down and kissed her. Good answer she thought. "Alone at last" he said. "Now, about these ground rules" Claire said regaining her composure. "Uh oh, here we go" Claire gave him a look. "First of all, nobody can know about us. Two, you can't tell me what to do! Three" Alex cut her off and finished "you do as I say, at least until your better. Four we kiss a lot" he kisses her again. "Five, we have at least six kids and six, no more I'm- an-independent-woman crap." Claire was going to protest but he kissed her again and she laughed. "And seven, we're going to live at Drovers with these six kids of ours, and if they're anything like you, god help us" they both laughed and continued kissing. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
Claire had been in hospital for two months. She was completely better and able to go straight back to work if she wanted to, and knowing Claire, she would. She'd been in hospital that long because everyone knew she wouldn't rest and would probably make herself worse.  
  
Claire was looking forward to getting home, but wasn't quite sure what to expect the condition of the place to be in. she didn't know that Alex and Nick had been helping out when they could, along with Brick and Terry. Liz and Harry now knew the truth about the baby along with everyone else. Alex had tried to see Claire as often as he could but with working two farms and not wanting it to look obvious that they were together, he hadn't exactly seen that much of her.  
  
"I can't believe she's finally coming home tomorrow" Jodi commented as they all sat down to dinner, Nick and Alex too. "Maybe she'll come out of this foul mood she's been in once she comes home." Tess said "What foul mood?" Alex asked. She'd always seemed happy when he was about. He then got a very big head when he realised she must only be in a mood when he's not around. "It's just the way she gets when she can't have her own way!" everyone gave a knowing look, including Alex. "Are you two still coming over tomorrow?" Meg asked Nick and Alex. "Sure, who's picking Claire up" Nick asked. Everyone turned to Meg. "Don't look at me, I can't do it. I thought you were Tess?" "Not me, I've got work to finish before Claire gets back" "I'll do it!" interrupts Alex. "Are you sure" "Got nothing better to do. What time?" he asked digging into his dinner. "The doctors should finish giving her a last check over at about four" "no probs" Alex said, shovelling another piece of meet into his mouth.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Claire asks as Alex walks into the room. Claire had been sitting on her bed, impatiently waiting, looking at her watch every 30 seconds. "Nice to see you too!" he bends over and they kiss. She smiles "I've come to take you home" "Well you're late!" she laughs and storms out of the room, Alex following.  
  
In the Ute driving back, Alex pulls over on an empty road. "What are you stopping fo..." Alex leant over and started to kiss her. Claire pulls away "there expecting us" "well I can't help it if you need another check up now, can I?" Claire laughs at Alex's words. He places his hand behind her head as they kiss again. He quickly pulls away from her as they are beeped by another car approaching. Alex sticks his head out the Ute and notices it's Frank, the police officer. "What's wrong officer?" Alex asks with a cheeky grin, as if he had been up to something he shouldn't have been. "I thought there might have been a problem" Frank says as he walks over to Alex's Ute. "No" "Hi Claire. I didn't know you were out of hospital" "Alex is just picking me up and taking me home" "why have you stopped?" Frank looks from one to the other until Alex came up with an excuse. "You know these country women, can't handle anything. She was feeling sick cos of my driving" "you alright Claire?" Frank asks with a concerned look on his face. "I'll be fine" she replies quickly, not looking at Frank, but kicking Alex in the leg. Alex was trying not to show that it hurt. Unfortunately for him, Claire knew how to hurt him. "Well I better let the two of you get going" and with that, he got in his car and drove away, as did Alex. "What did you do that for?" He asked rubbing his leg and looking at Claire as a grin formed on her face. "You deserved it!" she said. They laughed. They felt like naughty teenagers who had nearly got caught, the only thing was, Alex was used to it, Claire wasn't, and Alex really did care about the girl this time.  
  
When they pulled up at drovers, Claire started to walk off in the direction of the stables. "Where you going Claire?" Alex shouted. "to check the horses" "you can do that tomorrow" he said catching up to her. "I want to do it now" "well you cant" he said grabbing hold of her arm and trying to drag her in the opposite direction. She wasn't having any of it and pulled away from him. "No, I want to do it now" "Fine!" said Alex as he picked her up in his arms. Claire was shocked, she couldn't move. Alex was enjoying it. He had total control over Claire. He quickly took her to the back of the house where everyone was waiting but not without a struggle from Claire "put me down, I want to see the horses! Put me down now Alex, I'm not an invalid" "SURPRISE" everyone shouted as Alex turned the corner, Claire in his arms. Everyone laughed at the situation Claire was in. she was embarrassed. They had planned a BBQ and everyone was waiting for them to return from the hospital. Claire and Alex didn't spend much time together, but they exchanged looks every now and then and everyone had a great time. The food was great and there was plenty of beer.  
  
  
  
Claire was the first one up the next morning, way before anybody else. The first thing she did was to go riding. She saddled the horse and got on. All of a sudden she started to get flash backs of the accident. She got off the horse and kicked the dirt. She was angry at herself more than anything. She just wanted to forget about the whole thing, but she knew the only way to do that was to face her fears. She took a deep breath and thought about Alex. She got back in the saddle and just started to trot around. She was riding around Drovers with the wind blowing her hair back as she took in the fresh air. She was so happy. She was checking everything was ok as she was riding about. She came back to the stables and started to check to see what needed to be done. She checked the sheep and they were fine and everything seemed to be in order everywhere she went. She was impressed. By now, everyone else was awake, had eaten and started on the everyday chores. Claire was cleaning out the stables, when Alex arrived. He came up behind her and made Claire jump, not that she'd ever admit it. "So, what do you think of the place? Has it fallen to pieces without you?" he said. He wanted to kiss her, but knew that anybody could walk in at any moment. "I think they coped alright without me" she said in an off handed way. "Coped?" Alex said shocked. The place looked fantastic. "Fine, the place looks great. Everyone's done a brilliant job" she admitted even though she didn't want to think that the place could do ok without her. "Well, you see, all it needed was a mans touch!" Alex said with a cheeky look on his face. He was looking Claire right in the eyes to see her reaction. She couldn't believe it. He had been helping out and he hadn't said anything? Her face turned from shock to annoyance and hit him on the arm. They started fighting and in ended up with Alex on to p of Claire who was on the floor. He looked into her eyes and he just wanted to kiss and hold her and never let her go. She smelt wonderful and looked great. Her skin was so soft and her eyes were sparkling. Claire wanted him to do something, but knew he couldn't. She loved him so much and never wanted him to leave. They just laid there staring at each other, neither wanting to move. That was how Jodi found them. Jodi looked shocked and all she could manage to say was "sorry, am I interrupting something?" Alex sat up still kneeling over Claire. "No. Claire can't take the fact that all this place needs is a man" with that Claire pushes him off her and he falls to the side. Jodi laughs as Claire gets up, starts to clean herself off and says "And where am I going to find a real man around here then?" With that, Alex pulls Claire back down as he gets up and walks out the barn, winking at Jodi and says "You must be losing your touch Claire; you used to give up more of a fight than that before I beat you!" Claire sat up and just saw the back of Alex walking away. All she could do was glare at him. She loved him so much.  
  
Claire was getting on her horse when Alex came over to her with a stick. She hadn't noticed him there. Alex saw her ass tighten as she was about to get on the horse. He thought how much he loved her. Claire had one foot in the stirrup when Alex flicked her ass with the stick, he couldn't resist. The only trouble was that he caught the horse first. The horse kicked up onto its hind legs, sending Claire flying. Becky say what had happened and came running over. When she got to the horse and calmed it down, she saw Claire lying on top of Alex on the floor. As Claire had fallen, she'd fell straight on top of Alex. They were staring at each other again. Claire had a dreamy look on her face, but the way her hair had fallen around her face, nobody but Alex could see it. "Claire, are you ok?" Becky asked as she calmed the horse down. "Claire?" Becky said again. Claire was oblivious to everything around her except Alex, but he had heard Becky and pushed Claire off of him. She came to her senses then. Alex got up and started to walk away when Claire tripped him up slightly, giggling at him stumble, turn around, give her a look and he then said "she's fine" in a I don't give a damn attitude. He turned away and laughed to himself. He had to try hard not to let anyone know how he really felt. Every time he was around Claire he just wanted to touch her and smell her and kiss her and. he had to pull himself together. Nobody else knew. He liked it that way, but couldn't wait until him and Claire could spend some time together alone. He then realises he hasn't got a clue what he's doing so goes back to the where Claire has now started training the horse. She looked fantastic. She knew what she was doing. She was in her element. Alex loved seeing her so happy. He could remember how low she was after she found out about Peter. It hurt that she had been so sad, but to look at her then, you would never had known. Claire was in her own world, oblivious to everyone around her, including Alex. Although she didn't know he was there, he was all she could think about, along with what she was doing. That was why she had a grin on her face. She had hated being in the hospital without him. She couldn't talk to anyone either. Tess had asked her questions, but she just didn't want to say anything in case she jinxed what she had with Alex. In theory she and Alex would be great together, but could he honestly love her forever? She thought Peter would and look what happened there. She was relieved that they could still mess about like they used to, and nobody had taken a blind bit of notice, at least that was what she had thought.  
  
It was dinner time. Alex had been helping Claire train the horses. They were both glad they had become business partners because it was another excuse to spend more time together if they wanted. "Where are Claire and Alex?" Meg asked the other three women at the table. "Last time I saw them, Claire was lying on top of Alex" Becky said in a matter of fact tone. Tess had just taken a sip of her juice and practically spat it out again at what Becky had said. "When I saw them this morning, Alex was lying on top of Claire" Jodi said. Tess couldn't believe what was being said. Because she knew what was really going on, she wondered if everyone else did, but they didn't. They thought they knew that Alex and Claire were just friends and messing around like they always had done. This was just another chance for Meg Becky and Jodi to tease Claire. It was then that Claire and Alex walked in. "So what's been going on with you two then?" Meg asked. Alex practically walked into the back of Claire as he followed her in because she stopped dead at Megs words. She slowly sat down and shot Tess a look. She didn't know if they'd all found out her secret. "I don't know what you're talking about Meg!" Claire replied slowly. "Always on top of each other from what I hear" Alex burst out laughing. He'd seen the look of horror on Claire's face and couldn't help but think the whole thing funny. Claire had calmed down now and realised nobody knew. That's when she started laying into Alex. "I can't help it if my best mate is a complete moron!" "Hey, you the one who can't face the fact that all you need is a man about the place" "did you have a nice trip Alex?" she said smiling at him "how's your bum McLeod?" he said with a smug look on his face. "You must be desperate for women Ryan, if you're spending all your time round here" "fancy another roll in the hay then McLeod?" He'd got her again. He loved the fire in her eyes when they fought, but poor Tess sat there with a look of confusion. Claire then had to explain how they started fighting in the barn, and how he whipped the horse and she went flying. It was Alex who added in the little extras that had everyone in fits of laughter by the end of the story.  
  
Claire walked out with Alex to say goodbye. He got in his Ute and Claire lent on the open window. He started up the Ute, kissed her and drove off. She stood there wanting to be cross with him, but found it funny and walked inside with a smile on her face. "What's up with you?" Meg asked "Oh nothing, just glad to be home!"  
  
Alex didn't come around the next day, or the one after hat. He didn't want anyone to get suspicious. He knew Claire didn't want anybody to know yet. He did go around the next day though and couldn't wait to see her. It just so happened that the evening he went around to see her was the evening Tess had gone to Nicks so they had the house to themselves for the first time. Claire was in the office doing paper work when he arrived. She saw him in the doorway where he'd been standing watching her. "Hello stranger" she said. She stood up as he walked over to her. He pulled Claire into his arms and they kissed so passionately for the first time in a while. "I missed you Claire" "I missed you to" they kissed again but Claire pulls away "you do love me don't you, because if you don't we can end it now" "well" Alex teased "it's a close call between you and my chopper" Claire hits him around the head "hey. Did I tell you I've named my chopper?" "No" Claire replies wondering what he's going to come out with next. "I called her Claire!" that meant a lot coming from Alex and she kissed him completely letting herself go. He never wanted it to end. They went upstairs. Claire was in heaven and she never wanted it to end.  
  
She woke up the next morning in Alexs arms. She felt safe and warm and slowly turned around to find Alex awake staring at her. She just smiled and he kissed her. He rolled over on top of her and it wasn't until an hour later that they finally left Claire's bedroom. Meg was up and cooking breakfast. "Is Alex here?" she asked Claire as she Claire walked in. "why do you ask?" Claire said shocked. "I thought I saw his Ute outside" Alex walked in then, having heard the conversation. He says to Claire "thanks for letting me use the spare bedroom last night. I don't think I'll drink so much next time I come over" "no problem" was her only reply and then she left and went straight to work. Everyone thought Claire was in a mood, but that was usual for Claire. It was very rarely she was happy in the morning. Alex stayed and explained to Meg how he had been at a lose end last night, knew Claire was going to be on her own and so popped round with some beers. He ended up drinking too much to drive home. Alex went in search of Claire over half an hour later after he'd eaten. He found Claire when she had just finished cleaning something and it had turned all muddy with the water. Claire was trying to wipe a splash of mud off her cheek when Alex scooped up some mud and chucked it at her. She couldn't believe it. When she turned around and say it was Alex she couldn't help but take her muddy hands and wipe them down the front of his shirt. He was shocked at what shed done. That was it. She pushed her into the mud and started to rub the dirt all over her. Claire fought back and within five minutes they were both covered in mud from head to toe laughing their heads off. That was when he decided to help clean Claire. He got a bucket of freezing water and poured it over her head. Claire froze. It was freezing! She grabbed the hose at her feet. She decided Alex needed hosing down. He tried to get the hose off of her but failed. They were wet and muddy when Becky found the two of them. She couldn't help but laugh to herself at the state they'd got them selves into. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
When Claire had been in hospital, her and Alex had lost a lot of business with the horse training and needed to get more. They decided to spend a couple of days in town, with an all terrier motive, and do just that. They booked two rooms in town for three nights. Through the day they went about getting business and on the first night, Alex snuck along to Claire's room were they slept together. The second night Claire went along to Alex's room but on the third night, Alex got drunk at the bar. Claire was fuming. She'd gone up to her room to wait for him and she ended up falling asleep. He never showed up. Alex had got so drunk and started talking about this girl he'd been seeing. The blokes ended carrying him up to his room. Claire woke up the next morning, alone. She went down for breakfast. A couple of blokes who had been drinking with Alex went over to Claire. "Hi Claire, you're friends with Alex right?" "Yes" she said, contemplating the answer to that while showing a confused look to where this was leading to. "Who's this woman he's seeing?" Claire was furious with Alex. He'd obviously spent the evening talking about her, but what did he actually say? Did they know the truth? "I don't know, why? What did he say?" was her response "Alex said he was in love!" everyone laughed and another man said "Alex Ryan, in love? I don't believe it" "How's he feeling this morning Claire? He was pissed out of his head last night" "how would I know? What else did he say?" Claire was thinking. Alex would rather drink all night with these blokes, rather then spend their last night together, but he did say how he loved her, but then, he'd spent the whole night getting drunk. "Not much, he wasn't making much sense by then; we had to carry him to his room" Claire decided Alex needed to be left alone, especially if he was feeling so bad. She packed her bag quickly, checked out and went home. Claire was angry and everybody noticed. "Claire, what happened? Didn't you have a good time? What's he done to you?" Tess asked when she followed Claire upstairs. "Alex didn't do anything to me; he was too busy getting drunk!" Claire said as she flung her clothes into the drawer. She didn't want to talk so she rushed off and started working. Tess was left to wonder what had happened. She had tried, but if Claire didn't want to talk, there was no way she could try to get it out of her.  
  
Alex woke up with a blinding headache. He felt awful. He tried to remember what happened the night before. Claire had gone upstairs and he was going to follow but somebody made a comment about him going to bed early and without a lady. He didn't want anyone to get suspicious so he stayed for a drink, and then another and another. He didn't remember anything else after that. He managed to get up and walk along to Claire's room to apologise, but there was no answer. He went downstairs and they told him that she'd left already. He wondered why. His head hurt too much and so just put it down to the fact that she had to sheer all the sheep within three days and had left to get on with it. Alex drove back to Killarney and slept off his hangover.  
  
Claire didn't know what to do. She was thinking hard. She hadn't heard from Alex all day. Was he ok? Of course he was, this was Alex, and she wasn't going to waste her thoughts on that when she knew fairly well that he was perfectly fine minus a hangover. But why hadn't he come over, or at least called? Why would he though? Nobody knew they were seeing each other, let alone engaged, and if he did come over, what was she going to do? She couldn't exactly have a go at him, because everyone would probably find out about them then. This was pointless! He wasn't there, and it didn't look like he was going to show up any time soon either. She just got on with her work.  
  
The next morning the phone rang as everybody was about to leave. Claire just stared at it, but Tess picked it up. "Hello? ... Hang on.Claire it's for you" "who is it?" she said trying to not care "Alex" "I'm busy" and with that she stormed out.  
  
The sheep had to be sheared so they got to work. Claire was on a roll and doing really well until Alex popped into her head and she cut her hand. "Aghh" "Claire what's wrong?" Meg asked "nothing, I'm fine!" "Claire that looks pretty bad. Why don't you go and fix it up and we can finish off her, I'd say we just about done for the day anyway." Claire thanked her and went into the house. She ran her hand under the tap, and bandaged it up. She was tired so decided to have a shower. She went upstairs and before she went in the bathroom she thought she heard somebody downstairs. She shouted down but got no reply. She assumed it was Tess. "Tess, if that's you, I'm getting in the shower" still no reply. She went in the bathroom and got undressed when there was a knock on the door. She placed a small towel around her and opened the door slightly. Alex pushed it open further and walked in, pinning Claire against the wall. She looked hot in that towel. Claire was still mad at him though and tried to pull away. "Get off me" she said. He just kissed her. "I said get off me" he smelt so good. He pulled away slightly but didn't let her go. "What's up with you McLeod?" he asked. "Me, you're the one who'd rather spend your time getting drunk then in bed with me, your fiancé!" Alex couldn't believe that "No, why on earth would I want that?" "you tell me, you're the one that didn't show the other night" "oh, well what was I supposed to do, the blokes thought I was off to bed early and you know that's not like me unless I gotta girl, but I couldn't tell them I did because they'd know it was you." Claire felt stupid now. She kissed him and apologised. He moved in closer again as Claire started to undress him. They both got in the shower together, barely coming up for breath.  
  
By the time everybody else had come in, Alex and Claire were in the office sorting out arrangements to collect a horse after the sheering had been done. They were also arranging for Alex to go around that night, which he did. They had a fantastic time. It was great to be in love they both thought. They had never been happier. Claire loved waking up in Alex's arms as much as Alex loved waking up holding Claire close to him. He would watch her sleep and pull the hair from her face. He thought of their future and how they would have kids and he would play with them and show them how to run a farm and Claire would show them how to ride and train the horses. He would love and take care of Claire. He would kiss and cuddle Claire and make her so happy. He would take the kids up in the chopper and spend Sundays round his parents. They'd all go swimming and he and Claire could go to, minus the clothes though. He'd take Claire away on romantic weekends while aunty Tess and Uncle nick looked after all the children and he would carry Claire over the thresh hold once they were married, no matter how much she struggled. He didn't even want to be with another woman anymore. He was completely a one woman man now and he was the happiest he had ever been and he wanted everyone to know. Teasing Claire was great and he had loved the sneaking around at the start but now he wanted everybody to know she was his and he wanted to be able to be with her whenever he wanted and not come up with an excuse anymore.  
  
The sheering of the sheep had been done and Alex and Claire were stopping off in Gungellan after collecting a horse so Alex could pick something up. Claire waited in the truck for him. She sat there with a smile on her face as she watched Alex run off. He was so handsome. They had just been talking before they stopped. Alex said how he wanted to tell everybody about them. Claire had been feeling the same way. She couldn't bear to be without him and not be able to have a go at him when she was angry. She was glad they'd been able to spend the time alone together but that's not what she wanted anymore. They decided to tell everybody soon. Alec had also said how everyone at Drovers was invited to spend Christmas dinner at Killarney. Liz wanted to cook a big dinner and Alex had encouraged her. He wanted to spend Christmas with Claire. Nick could spend it with Tess and it would be great fun. Claire was pleased. Christmas day had been the day Claire and her father would spend most of the day alone, not worry about the farm but having a good time. Last Christmas was hard enough as it was without him, but she had been able to throw herself into her work. This year wouldn't be so easy to do as Tess knew how things were and she'd found out how Claire had used to spend Christmas and wouldn't let her get away with it this time. She couldn't believe Christmas was only a week away now.  
  
Claire's thought were interrupted by the man that had walked up to Claire's window. It was Peter. "Hello Claire" she couldn't believe it, she wanted to hit him and scream at him but just stared at him in shock. "Claire, I want to now if the babies mine!" he couldn't see her stomach so didn't know she'd lost the baby. She had recovered from the shock now. "Go away Peter, your not welcome around here, how you can show you face around here I don't know. You nearly killed me." "That was not my fault Claire" "not your fault, you got in my way and nearly killed me, the person you were supposed to love, yet was blackmailing. I don't know how you can live with yourself." "I just want to know if the babies mine or not" "Peter go away" "I cant, I love you and I want to have this child with you" Claire had not thought about the baby in a long time and a cheek came running down her cheek. Peter tried to comfort her and hold her arm, but she pushed him away and shouted at him to go. "I don't love you. You killed my baby!" she was crying now. It was at that point Alex had appeared furious and punched him. Claire got out of the Ute and started to run away. She couldn't bare the sight of Peter. If it wasn't for him, she might still be pregnant, yet she didn't want to have his baby. She just had to get out of there. Alex chased after her. Tears were running down her cheek. Her eyes were red and she didn't know what she was doing or where she was going. He grabbed her and shook her to make her pay attention to him. She couldn't see though all of the tears. He pulled her close and held her tightly. She started to feel better straight away. She knew it was Alex and he would never let Peter hurt her again. Becky drove along at that point and stopped as she saw who was there and the state Claire was in. She ran over to Alex and Claire. Alex sat Claire down and told Becky to take her home. HE went over to peter and punched him again. He was so angry! He told Peter to piss off. He had no right to be there and no reason. Peter left for good that time. Alex went into the pub and had a drink, then another. He was so angry at Peter and couldn't bear to think about the state poor Claire was in. she was unrecognisable. Claire had completely broken down. He didn't know what to do. He had another drink. It was Nick who was called to get him. He wasn't surprised. He had been at drovers when Becky showed up with Claire. Claire had stopped crying and just had a dazed look on her face. Nobody knew what had happened, only that Peter had been there and Alex was furious. Claire went to her room and lay on her bed. Tess went up to her room. She hated seeing Claire like this as much as Alex did. She just laid there next to her sister. Claire eventually started to talk. She explained what had happened, how all these feelings of hate appeared. She was so shocked to see peter. It was a part of her life she thought shed never have to deal with again. Having said all of that and had Tess listen to her. She felt so muck better. The fact that she had seen Peter again had sunken in. it was more of the shock than anything that had got her upset. She was ok now though. She just needed a good nights sleep and she would be fine, which she was. Claire was strong. She had just been really emotional.  
  
The next day Claire went to see Alex. She was better and had gotten over it. She actually felt stupid more than anything. Alex looked worse off. He had a hangover. They were alone when Claire arrived so the first thing she did was kiss him. "Thank you for sticking up for me" Alex was waiting for the bit about how she could handle herself though, but it never came. He just held her close "are you alright, I don't think we'll be seeing him again" "I'm fine; I don't know what happened to me. I was just so shocked to see him and was full of rage and I just completely lost it" he touched her face and Claire was so relieved she was with him. No more was said about it. They did talk about telling everyone about the two of them getting married, but decided to wait a bit longer, at least until this whole Peter thing was forgotten about. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
Everybody was cautious around Claire for the next couple of days but they soon realised that she really was fine; especially knowing that Peter had gone at last.  
  
Tess had an idea "uh oh" was Claire's response. She knew what Tess' ideas were like. "What are we in for this time?" "Well, when was the last time we had a party?" Claire shot Meg a look. "Jodi's 18th, why?" Meg asked. "Well, why don't we have another one? We could have a new year's party. Don't you think it's a great idea?" "I don't know Tess. It's new years in little over a week. Do you think you can organise a party in a couple of days?" "Sure, leave everything to me!" with that she ran out of the room with a huge smile on her face. She was so excited. She loved parties and organising them. She would invite everybody. It would be so much fun. Christmas at the Ryan's, and new years at Drovers! Claire had a look on her face that said 'what have we got our selves into', Meg felt the same way. Jodi was excited and Becky was a bit to. By the end of the day, Tess had practically organised the whole thing and invited nearly all of Gungellan. Nobody could take the smile from her face. The Ryan boys were always up for a party, they even offered to help set up the barn.  
  
It came to Christmas day, and everybody was getting ready to go to Killarney for Christmas dinner. They were actually quite excited. At least Meg and Tess were. Tess got to spend Christmas with Nick, and Meg didn't have to cook and would probably spend the day with Terry. Claire was the only one who wasn't ready when it came time to leave. She had decided she wasn't going to go. She couldn't go. She'd spent the whole morning throwing up in the bathroom. She was disappointed because she wanted to spend the day with Alex. She felt really sick though and couldn't work out why. Tess seemed quite concerned because she knew Claire never got sick. "I'll be fine. Go and have a good time." Claire didn't get to finish off what she was saying; she had to rush to the bathroom where she was sick again. She shouted through the door for them all to go. Tess went in. "Claire are you ok?" "I had some left over meet yesterday; I think it might have been off. You lot go, I'll come over if I feel better. Tell them I'm sorry. Now go before you're late. Have fun and don't worry about me." "Well if you're sure" Tess said reluctantly. She left though when she saw the look that Claire gave her. Claire was relieved when they left. She felt awful and just wanted to be left alone. She was disappointed that she couldn't go but then, would it have been worse spending a day at the Ryan's and not be able to spend the day with Alex who would have been her only salvation. She probably would have had fun though. Claire sighed and threw up again.  
  
When they all got to Killarney, everyone was waiting outside for them. Alex looked concerned when he couldn't see Claire but wasn't going to say anything. It was Liz who asked after her. "And where's Claire?" "She, a, she's not coming. She's not very well" Meg said "not very well? That's unlike Claire; she's always had perfect health. What's wrong with her?" "She's just a little sick" "a little sick more like it, she looked awful!" Jodi commented "Jodi be quite. She'll be fine in no time. She might even be here later if she feels better" Meg said faking a smile and trying to remove the look of concern on everyone's face. They all knew Claire never got ill; it was probably as bad as Jodi had made it sound. Meg was not only trying to convince everyone else, but herself to. She was worried about Claire and didn't want to leave, but knew Claire wouldn't let her stay. They all walked inside in silence. Alex had a million thoughts go through his head and decided not to worry about it; he could call her later to make sure she was ok when nobody was around.  
  
Claire felt much better now. She didn't know what had come over her. She had woken up feeling dreadful. She looked at the outfit Tess had put out for Claire to wear. She laughed to herself. She had almost worn it as well. She now had on her usual jeans and a shirt. She hardly ever wore dresses. The last time she did was for Peter and that was only to get the Bloodline contract. Apart from that, she'd never had a reason to. Tess was interfering as usual, trying to make Claire wear the dress. She pulled it up to her for a minute. She looked at herself in the mirror and wished she was more girly, then she chucked it on her bed, erasing the thought from her mind and decided to go and do some work. She was feeling better and had nothing better to do. She went to the stables, got blaze and was training him outside. She felt nothing like she had that morning and it was still puzzling her why she had been ill. If only she had eaten meat that had gone off, but she hadn't!  
  
It was after dinner and Alex kept looking at his watch. Thoughts of what state Claire might be in were going through his mind, and they'd had no word from her. His father had noticed "Are we keeping you?" he said. Everyone turned to Alex. He had been fairly quite all day, which was really unlike him. He didn't know what to say but he came up with a good idea. "Actually yes dad, I've got to be somewhere, don't wait up for me, see ya!" and with that he got up and left. He hadn't been enjoying himself. The McLeod's used to go over on Boxing Day and the only reason he enjoyed it was because Claire had been there. They always had great fun. He got to Drovers and went inside. He called out for Claire and got no reply. He searched the house and couldn't find her. He did notice the dress on her bed though. He laughed at the thought of Claire in a dress. Then he thought to himself maybe that was the reason she didn't come. He went outside and found her riding a new horse. She saw him with a grin on his face walking over. "Aren't you supposed to be at home?" she shouted to him "aren't you supposed to be ill?" he said cheekily. Claire felt like a naughty school girl. "Feeling much better are we?" he said with a sarcastic tone. Claire looked at him confused. "I know why you're here; I saw the dress in your room. You'll have to come up with a better excuse than feeling sick, just to get out of wearing a dress you know McLeod. You could have just worn your normal clothes!" Claire was shocked. Not half an hour ago she had been thinking about wearing it and about two hours ago she had been bent over the toilet seat emptying her stomach. And what was so unusual about Claire wearing a dress? She was a woman after all! "No, I just didn't want to spend the day with you actually!" she shouted to him, before opening the gate and riding off. That threw Alex. Why wouldn't she want to spend the day with him? They always had a laugh together" he got on another horse and followed her. He caught up and they started racing to the creek. It was fun and you could tell from the look of excitement on their faces. They were both so competitive and eager to win. They were head to head, but the horse Claire was on didn't like the water and threw Claire off. Alex stopped and couldn't stop himself from laughing at Claire lying at the edge of the creek soaking wet. Claire got up and went over to Alex. "You look so sexy when you laugh" Claire had a mischievous grin that he didn't notice. She pulled him down to meet her lips. He was willing to go, not even contemplating what Claire had intended to do. They barely touched when she pulled him off the horse and into the water. She laughed so hard. Alex hadn't seen her laugh so much in a long time. As Claire was standing he noticed how her shirt had pulled tight against her body. She looked sexy even when she was dripping wet. He got out and started to kiss her. Claire had forgotten why she had been mad at him. They both decided they were already wet, so went for a swim, minus the clothes this time though. It was so much fun. It ended up being a great Christmas though. They went back to the house and had a shower together, had something to eat and went to bed. "Is this my Christmas present then?" Alex asked as he started kissing Claire. She kissed him back and didn't say anything. "You know seeing you in a dress would have been a great present" he added. Claire stopped and moved away. She didn't understand what the big deal was. It was just a dress. "What have I done now?" he asked moving closer to her. She wasn't sure what to say. She didn't know why she was so annoyed. She was getting wound up over nothing. She kissed him as Alex moved on top of her. "I think I prefer you with nothing on at all actually" she laughed as he kissed her around the neck. She did love him.  
  
Everyone except Tess and Nick wondered where on earth Alex had gone to. They thought it might have been a woman, but then why be so secretive about it, and why did he look so worried. In the end they gave up and would just have to quiz him when he eventually got home, which he didn't, at least not that day. Everybody left late. It was dark and nobody noticed Alex's Ute. Tess was going to check on Claire but didn't want to wake her up if she was sleeping. She also figured Alex was with her so she stopped Meg from checking on Claire. She went straight to bed and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. They all had had a fantastic time.  
  
Alex woke up the next morning alone. He looked over and Claire had gone. He looked around the room and he couldn't see her. He wondered where she was. He knew it was safe to look upstairs because Tess already knew so he walked out on the upstairs landing. It was there he heard Claire. She was being sick in the bathroom. He was really shocked. She had actually been sick and he thought she'd been lying. He had been disappointed that he hadn't seen her in the dress, although she always looked hot in her usual clothes to him. He didn't know what to do. Should he go and see if she's alright or just leave her alone? Should he call a doctor or Tess or someone? Why was she being sick? Claire now knew the answer to that question. She didn't know what to do about it though. If they were going to tell everyone they were together, it might seem a bit suss if she then tells everyone she's pregnant again. And how would Alex feel about being an actual father. He said he wanted kids, but this soon? And what if she lost the baby again? Shed already lost one. She was actually happy, apart from the fact she was throwing up every five minutes, she and Alex were going to have a baby. Alex decided to leave her alone and wait until she came out. He went back to bed and waited there. She did eventually go back to her room, but decided not to tell Alex, at least not yet. She was going to go and see the doctor first. She had an appointment to check her hand and make sure it hadn't got infected from when she had cut it sheering the sheep. She would talk to the doctor about it then. "Where you been?" he asked her as she got into bed. He cuddled her and didn't even try to kiss her. "Nowhere. Just needed a glass of water" they both knew she was lying but Alex didn't want to say anything. He felt stupid not believing her and it might be nothing after all.  
  
He tried to spend as much time with her as possible, even if it was just to make sure she was ok. He never saw her being sick again, because he hadn't stayed the night again and it was only in the morning Claire was being sick. He thought she was ok now, and so didn't say anything to her.  
  
Tess spent a couple of nights around Nicks and had been getting up early to sort the place out for the party so hadn't noticed how sick Claire had been in the mornings. She assumed Claire was better. Claire also rushed out of the house every morning as quickly as possible, as the food made her want to be sick again. Meg didn't notice because Claire would grab something in her rush to get out. What Meg didn't notice was how Claire just chucked the food in the bin as soon as she was outside and then threw up again. Claire didn't want anybody to know, at least not yet.  
  
Eventually it was New Years Eve. Everyone was helping out with the preparations for the party. A stage had been built for the band to perform on and all the food and drink were laid out. By the evening it was all ready and the Ryan boys left to go get cleaned up and changed after helping with the decorations and the mini stage.  
  
"But I don't want to" Claire said to Tess "but you'd look great" Tess said trying to get Claire to put on this really small dress she had. "I'd look stupid" "it would defiantly wind Alex up" Tess commented with a cheeky and desperate grin. Claire liked the sound of that. She put it on and was glad she didn't have a bump yet, because it would have stuck out like a sore thumb. She got ready and by the time she came downstairs, everybody had arrived. She looked stunning and everybody noticed as she walked in. Claire blushed. The dress was blue and made her eyes show up even more. It was low cut and quite short. It looked fantastic on her. She had a great figure and it hugged all the right curves. Tess smiled with satisfaction as she not only looked at Claire, but everyone else and at the way the place looked.  
  
Alex was probably the only person who hadn't noticed Claire walk in. He was talking to Nick when all of a sudden a woman fell into his lap. Claire had been dancing and had got dizzy all of a sudden when the man had twirled her around. She'd lost her balance, and luckily for her, landed right in Alex's lap. He couldn't believe his eyes. Was that really Claire McLeod? She looked amazing! He helped her up and couldn't keep his eyes off of her or his mouth shut. Claire had gone red again from embarrassment. Within in seconds she was whisked away again by another man, to dance. Alex realised he looked like a complete idiot. When Claire went to get a drink, he walked over and started teasing her. "Well well McLeod, you don't scrub up to badly" with that, he pinched her ass without anybody seeing. Claire was shocked and just stared straight forward not quite sure what to do. "Something I never thought I'd see, Claire McLeod in a dress!" he pinched her ass again. He was enjoying this. He knew she wouldn't hit him there in front of everybody. She was getting really annoyed. She felt stupid and she couldn't make a fool out of herself again by hitting him. She just had to grin and bare it. The next thing she knew, he'd whisked her onto the dance floor. They danced wonderfully together. They were made for one another. There was such chemistry and everyone cheered and he flung her around the dance floor. Liz had made Alex take dance lessons as a kid. He'd get Claire to practice with him. At the end of the dance, before Claire was taken away again, he whispered to her "you look fantastic, I love you" Claire was shocked but didn't have time to say anything back before she was dancing with somebody else. Claire danced most of the night. She was really enjoying herself. So was Alex, even if he was just watching Claire enjoy herself. He didn't dance with Claire again for the rest of the evening, but when Claire went outside for some fresh air, he followed her to ask her a question. He had made up his mind about something but needed to know what Claire thought. It was a big deal for him. "Claire, I need to ask you something." Claire was not really listening to what he was saying, her mind had wondered as she took in the fresh air. To what, even she didn't know, she just wasn't listening to Alex properly. "yes" was the feeble reply "you know I love you, well I want everybody else to know to" "yeah" "I think we should tell people" "uh huh" Alex smiled and was happy with that answer. He walked back inside, pleased with the outcome. Claire still stood there until Tess started to shout out to her. "Claire, Claire.. Claire? Are you ok? Claire!" Tess had come over to her when she didn't get an answer. It was the last 'Claire' that made her come out of her day dream. "What?" Claire said to Tess in an annoyed tone. "Are you ok?" Tess said a little concerned. Claire smiled and said "I'm fine, what did you want" "its nearly midnight, are you coming inside?" Claire just nodded and they both walked in.  
  
Alex grabbed Claire by the arm as she walked past him. He was grinning and she smiled back. They danced together and then Alex looked at his watch. He pulled Claire up to the front of the barn with him where Tess and Nick had been dancing. He got on the mini stage with Claire and called for everybody's attention, not letting go of Claire's hand. Claire tried to make him let go but he wouldn't. She wanted to know what he was doing "Can you all shut up? We have twelve seconds to go, ten. nine. eight. seven. six. five. four. three. two. one." As everybody chorused HAPPY NEW YEAR! Alex pulled Claire into him. He put his hand around her waste. He pushed his lips to hers and moved his tongue into her mouth. Claire automatically put her arms around his neck, moving even closer to him, moved her hands to the back of his head and kissed him back with as much passion and feeling. The world stopped and the electricity between them was so immense, sparks could fly. The love ands feeling they had for each other showed so much in that moment, words could not describe. They were in their own little world, oblivious to everyone around them screaming and gasping and whistling. Claire had to come up for air, and she had the biggest smile on her face. Every thing was going in slow motion. Then she realised everyone looking, even more so, the shocked looks from the women at Drovers, minus Tess, who stood there with a satisfied grin on her face once again. Claire couldn't look at them though, the pleading looks they gave to know what was going on nearly made her laugh. Instead she just looked into Alex's big brown eyes. He gave his mischievous grin. "I have an announcement to make" he started, already having everyone's attention. The other three women looked and saw the grin on Tess' face. They started to ask her what was going on. She told them to shut up and listen. She was so pleased for Claire because she deserved this so much. She deserved to be happy and with the man she was meant to be with. "As you may have noticed, me and Claire are seeing each other, and have been for months now, but more than that. We're getting married!" He put so much energy and feeling into what he said. He wanted the whole world to know! He takes the ring that Claire had been wearing on a chain, from her neck and places it on her finger. They kiss again. Everyone cheers and the women can't believe what there hearing. Alex picks up the bottle of Champaign that Nick passes him along with some glasses. He pops the bottle pours it into the glasses. "I would like to make a toast, to Claire McLeod" he clinks glasses with Claire and drinks the Champaign. When he sees Claire hasn't drunk hers, he asks her why. "Not now?" "What's wrong Claire? Drink up!" "I can't?" "Why not?" "I said not now" "tell me Claire" "not here" "tell me!" he says getting worried. Claire hesitated, and then though to herself, it's been a night for announcements, a night I'll never forget, nothing could spoil it now, so what the hell. She put her arms around his neck and reached up to his ear as he placed his hands on her hips. The noise around them seemed to disappear as Claire whispers into his ear "I'm pregnant" were the two simple words that she said. He pushes her away so he can see her face. He looks at her as if to say, are you sure? She nods with anticipation, waiting for him to say or do something, her face dropping in panic as he just looks at her with a shocked face. All of a sudden he lets out a scream, pulls her into his arms and swings her around in circles as she laughs with relief. He puts her down, holds her face, and says; "are you sure" she nods. "We're gonna have a baby?" she nods again. He kisses her as everyone comes on to the stage to find out what's going on "We're gonna have a baby!" He shouts. Questions flew about the place and Claire was overwhelmed but ecstatic. It was such a relief to have everything out in the open and to know that Alex was as excited about having the baby as she was. She didn't leave his side for the rest of the night. Everyone was asking questions, especially from the women at Drovers. 'Why didn't you tell us?' 'How come Tess knew?' 'Why didn't I figure it out' 'oh my god!' 'Getting married?' 'Pregnant?' Alex didn't want to answer the questions, so he dragged Claire away and started dancing to a slow song that had started playing. Claire rested her head on Alex's shoulder. She thought how lucky she was as they danced together. Alex was thrilled. He was going to be a father! The rest of the night was fantastic and they all had the best time! 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
Claire was in the bathroom when Alex woke up. He was about to get up when she crawled back into bed and cuddled up close next to Alex. She felt rotten but was glowing. It was the first time they'd had a chance to talk properly to one another. "I love you" he whispered into his ear. She was facing away from him, tucking her back right up close to him while his arm went around, and holding her tightly to him. "And the baby?" she asked "What about the baby?" "Are you pleased? Do you want kids yet?" he squeezed her "I love you and anybody else who comes along. I'm thrilled about the baby, especially knowing that this one is actually mine!" Claire was relieved. "Now, when are we getting married?" he asked "how about February 10th?" she said in a pleased tone. He still wanted to marry her. "Fantastic, I do think I should tell my parents about all this though." "you are happy aren't you?" she asked him, just to make sure "I've never been happier, now are you going to come with me, not only do I have to tell my parents, but face that lot down there" Alex said after hearing a bang of a plate from downstairs and a few female voices, along with Nicks. "I guess we better" she said, and then it was Alex's turn to have his mind put at ease. "You do love me don't you; you are pleased with the way things are turning out?" "Alex of course I love you, it facing your parents I'm not to keen on. And I'm so glad that I am actually having your baby" she said "even if I do feel like crap" she added as they both got up and dressed.  
  
I cant believe it! Was the general feeling downstairs. Everyone was so happy for the both of them, but were still shocked. "Did you know about the baby?" Jodi asked Tess. "No, that was new to me" they were all so excited when Alex and Claire finally came down stairs together. Claire stood in the doorway while Alex sat down and dug into the food. It still made Claire feel sick. "Well?" Tess prompted. "Well what? Claire said in her usual tone. "When's the big day? Have you set a date yet?" Claire looked at Alex with a smile on her face as she said "February 10th" "so when's the baby due?" Meg asked. Alex's head came up. That was one thing he hadn't thought to ask. "The doctor said the end of July" it was at that point she couldn't handle the smell anymore and ran for the bathroom.  
  
Claire and Alex pulled up at Killarney. Claire didn't want to do this; she wasn't sure how they would react. Alex got out of the Ute and walked around to Claire's window. "You ready?" He asked her. But there was no need to because it was at that point that Liz came running out of the house. Claire got out of the Ute while Liz gave Alex a cuddle. Liz took the two inside to the room Harry was in. "There's something we think you should know" Alex started and waited for Claire to finish. Alex was just going to sit back and let Claire deal with it, which Claire only realised at that point. She could have killed him. "Well, what is it?" Liz prompted. "Well." Claire started, actually quite nervous ".I have two pieces of news, first of all, I'm pregnant, secondly, I'm getting married." Claire didn't do anything; she just stood there waiting for a reply. There was an awkward silence as Alex's parents took in the news. Liz couldn't believe her ears and started in with the question. "It's not that Peter bloke who's the father? Claire I thought you had more sense than that. And who are you marrying?" "Uh, that would be me mum" Alex piped up. Liz nearly had a heart attack. Harry was thinking from a business angle as always, so he got up, congratulated Claire and shook Alex's hand. "You cant" was Liz's reply, until she got into full flow "Claire you can't take advantage of Alex like this again, we were lucky when you lost the baby the first time, you think you'd learn your lesson. Poor Alex can't be stuck looking after your baby, and how you can even ask him is beyond me. Claire, I really thought better of you! My son shows a little kindness to a friend, and you try to ruin his life, and getting pregnant again, that's just down right stupid!" Alex had tried to get his mother to stop but she didn't, at least not until Claire ran out of the house to the Ute. Her eyes were streaming. She just wanted to leave but Alex had the keys and there was no way she was going back into that house. That was the last thing she had expected. And Alex was useless. He didn't say anything. But what if she really was trapping him? Then she realised the keys were in the ignition and she drove off trying to wipe her eyes dry before they filled up again.  
  
Alex was furious at his mother "Now look what you've done!" "Alex, I have probably saved you from a life of misery" Alex lost it. He couldn't bare seeing Claire so upset. "Mum, I love Claire, and she loves me and we were going to have our child together!" there was silence until Liz was able to mumble "the babies yours?" "Yes its mine! Me and Claire have been seeing each other for months now and she told me last night she was pregnant after we announced our engagement." "But when? What happened? How comes you didn't tell us?" Alex sat down and explained how he realised how much he loved her when Claire nearly died, how he proposed, how they'd been seeing each other secretly and then all of what happened the night before.  
  
Claire got back to Drovers with red eyes. She just wanted to get away. She had to leave for a couple of days. She got a bag and started to fill it with clothes. Everybody was out working so nobody noticed. She took her own Ute, chucked the bag in the back, left a note and left. She wasn't quite sure where she was going, she just had to get away. Tears were now falling from her eyes aging and she felt sick, angry, sad and confused. The only certainty in her life right then was that she was going to be a mother, but then it struck her that she'd already lost one baby, what if it happened again? The tears dropped heavier at that thought but she just kept on driving.  
  
Alex finally got to Drovers and went in search of Claire. He went outside first of all because knowing Claire she would be hard at work. He also knew she'd be in a bad mood. His mum had really upset her. "Tess, have you seen Claire?" "No, I thought she was with you" "long story, I'll tell you later. Do you know where she might be?" "your guess is as good as mine" She said "but I can help you look for her" they both walked off looking in the stables and all over the place, finally going into the house. There was a tear stained, scribbled note on Claire's bed. Her room was in a mess from clothes that had been dropped on the floor and draws that had been left open. "What's happened in here?" Alex asked "oh no" was Tess reply as she picked up the note. "What Alex said, taking the note from Tess. 'I have to get away, I don't know where I'm going and I don't know when I'll be back. Claire' "What's going on Alex?"  
  
Two weeks had passed and still no sign of Claire. Everyone was panicking. This was so unlike Claire. Alex had explained all of what had gone on with his mother and thought Claire was overreacting. Meg said that Claire's feelings must be all over the place and so who knows what state of mind Claire is in. They all tried to convince each other that Claire was fine even though they doubted it slightly. They all knew Claire was strong and could look after herself, but why hadn't she come home, or called or written. She must have really been hurt. Maybe it was her pride stopping her from coming home. Then more thoughts started to pop into at least Alex's mind. What if she didn't want to come home, what if she never did? Had she lost the baby? Was she sick, injured? Was she dead? Alex just wanted her to come home. He was at Drovers everyday in case she came back. He spent many nights in Claire's bed.  
  
Claire spent a lot of time thinking about everything and everyone. She spent a lot of time crying and over what, she wasn't sure. It was a mixture of sadness over the loss of her first baby, worry about the one she was carrying, missing Alex, hating Peter, hating herself in case what Liz said was true and just wanting someone to talk to like her mother. Claire had driven for a couple of days until she reached a place owned by her father's best mate Tom. Claire had spent a lot of time there, especially when she was younger. He was like an uncle to her. Tom was shocked to see her but pleased. He was also worried because she looked a state. He had no idea of what had happened because they hadn't really spoken properly for about a year. He didn't pry though and for that Claire was grateful. He let her stay with him, his wife and two teenagers, while she helped him on the farm. Claire mainly worked on the horses. Tom watched her and saw how talented she was. He told her how her father would have been proud. She had to fight back the tears. She had plenty of time to think and one day she went into town. That was when she saw Peter. She couldn't believe her eyes. She was with Tom's wife Anna at the time. Claire got on really well with her as well. She'd been like a mother to Claire since her own had died, at least whenever Claire had stayed with her. Luckily Peter hadn't seen Claire, but Anna had seen the look on Claire's face when she noticed Peter. Claire had practically run in the opposite direction to get away from him. Anna didn't say anything, at least not until that evening when they were on their own. "Claire, what's wrong?" Anna asked in a sensitive voice. "Nothing Claire replied in her McLeod tone, not wanting to let anybody in. Tom and Anna had been so kind to her, she didn't want to just drop all of her problems onto them. "Claire I've known you since you were barely able to walk. Claire, honey, we know there's something wrong, why don't you just tell me?" Claire wanted to so badly but didn't know where to begin. Seeing Peter had really thrown her that day. She couldn't hold it in anymore and just started to cry. Anna went over to her and cuddled Claire, stroking her hair and holding her close until Claire calmed down. Claire felt better just being held. She missed the way Alex used to hold her. "Now Claire, tell me what's wrong, I'm really worried about you" Claire looked into Anna's eyes, feeling silly and tried to laugh it off but it didn't work. Anna had such a concerned and motherly face, Claire couldn't help but let everything out. "Anna, I've really messed up" she started. Anna took her hand and said softly "tell me" "I met this bloke through getting a contract with Australian Bloodlines, training horses. "That's great!" Anna was pleased because she knew how talented Claire was and how it had always been her dream. "Well the man I worked with was Peter, the man I saw in town today." Anna's face looked confused, but she didnt dare interrupt until Claire had finished "we fell in love and were going to get engaged when I found out he was already married and had kids. "Claire tried not to start crying again. "I was getting over him. I quit Australian Bloodlines and started up a business with Alex Ryan" Anna knew who Alex was, she had met him several times and had always felt Claire and Alex would be great together, she even thought Claire had always had a thing for him to. "But I stupidly nearly got back with him. I didn't though. Then it was the Gungellan carnival. Me and Alex wee competing as a team with me doing the first obstacle course and Alex doing the Cross country. I didn't do my even in the end. I found out I was pregnant with Peters baby. I also found out on the same day that Peter hadn't handed in my letter of resignation and so Drovers was going to be taken away from me. I was all over the place. Peter didn't know about the baby but he asked me to marry him again. I didn't want my child to be without a father, so I said yes. Then I realised I couldn't be with him because I didn't love him anymore. Peter dislocated Alex's shoulder after I turned him down and so I was furious and took Alex's place in the cross country. Because of Peter I had a huge accident and ended up in hospital for a couple of months. Tess and Meg were the only ones who knew I was pregnant so Tess told the paramedics as they loaded me into the ambulance. Peter heard. I didn't want him to know so I said the baby wasn't his. That was when Alex piped up and said it was his. I ended up losing the baby though, but that was after Alex said he loved me and that he would be a father to my baby. We got engaged." A smile came over her face for the first time that she had been there. "I lost the baby but me and Alex still saw each other in secret. He looked after me and Drovers. Then on New Years Eve we had a party and he announced to everyone we were getting married and I told him I was pregnant again, with his child. Then we went to tell his parents everything the next day and some of the things his mother said were so true. I've trapped Alex into marrying me and now I'm having his baby and it's a complete mess, I'm frightened of losing my baby again and I don't know what to do" she started crying again. Anna pulled her close again until Claire calmed down. Claire's hormones were really all over the place and she had managed to convince herself that she really had trapped Alex into this whole thing. "Do you love him?" Anna asked her. Claire just nodded her head. "Do you want to marry him?" she nodded again. "Did you lose the baby because of the accident?" Claire nodded again. "Well you don't have to worry about the baby, as long as you look after yourself, and as for Alex, I don't think he's the sort to let himself get trapped. You need to talk to him. Find out what he wants, and fight for him if you have to. Claire, you're a very special person and f he can't see that, then he's not worth it" Claire smiled. "You look just like your mother when you smile. I don't know if you know this, but when your mum found out she was pregnant, she left your dad for a couple of days. Your father went frantic. He was so looking forward to having a baby, and didn't know what he'd done wrong. It all worked out in the end though. When I see you riding those horses out there, you remind me so much of Jack. You have the best qualities of both your parents. They'd be so proud of you Claire. I know I am. You achieved your dream to start with and now you're going to be a mother. All you need to do now is get married, and you're not going to do that here." Claire knew she was right, which is why she left the next day. She couldn't thank them enough but they were just pleased she was ok. Tom was shocked when he heard what had happened and that Claire was pregnant. He made Claire promise to let them know what happens and to come back and visit soon, they could do with the decent hand with the horses. Claire was so grateful for everything, she had a mother in Anna that she needed, who said the right thing at the right time, knew exactly what to do and who sorted everything out in Claire's head so that Claire could now sort out everything in her life.  
  
It was a couple of days drive back to Drovers run. She was pleased to be seeing everyone because she had missed them, especially Alex, but she felt so stupid. She didn't know what to expect. When she did get home it was in the middle of the night and she went to her room without waking up anybody. When she got there she was shocked to see Alex was sleeping on her bed. She hadn't expected that. She was so happy to see him and just climbed into bed next to him, taking in his scent and cuddling up close and fell asleep.  
  
Alex woke up the next morning slowly. He soon realised that he was in bed with someone because he had his arm around them, as he opened his eyes, he realised, with relief, that it was Claire. He couldn't believe it at first and had to pull back the hair that had fallen in her face. He kissed her gently and moved up closer, squeezing her slightly with his arm still around her. He just laid there and listened to her sleeping. Claire was tired, emotionally and physically, she was dead to the world. All of a sudden Tess came rushing in "Alex, Alex, the Ute." that was when she saw that Claire was home. She'd seen the Ute outside and hadn't thought that anybody had noticed Claire was back. Alex gestured to be quite and Tess smiled at how they looked together. She was relieved Claire was home, and quietly left. Claire woke up and felt Alex's arm around her. She felt happy and safe but it didn't last. She turned around and saw Alex had been watching her. She gave a shaky smile and hen ran out of the room. He was about to shout after her until he realised the reason she was running away was because she was going to be sick. Alex gets up, not quite sure what he's going to say to her when she gets back. He starts pacing as he thinks. Claire slowly walks back into her room, not really wanting to, but is shocked when she doesn't see Alex straight away. She momentarily panics and thinks he's gone, for good, until he grabs her from behind and holds her close to him. They both feel better like they were meant to be. Alex wants to know why she left, where she went and what's going to happen now. He is not going to let her go again. Claire all of a sudden pulls away, and turns to look out the window, away from Alex "Claire." he begins in a frustrated tone. "Alex I'm sorry," she starts. She doesn't look at him and as he tries to walk closer, she moves away. "This.this is your chance to leave. I. I won't do or say or think anything bad, so you can go. You can see the baby if you want to, but just leave now" her eyes start to shed tears, unknown to Alex who stands there gob smacked. "Leave?" "Ryan, this is your chance to get out early" "but I don't understand Claire, why would I want to leave?" "Why would you want to stay? Everybody leaves eventually. Your mother was right, I trapped you into this, but just because I'm having your baby, it doesn't mean you have to stay" "is that what you think? I'm gonna leave you?" "What's to keep you here? Everybody I have ever loved has left sooner or later. Mum, dad, Tess, Ruth, Peter, and then it'll be you." "Claire, my mother doesn't know what she's talking about and as for people leaving, Tess came back" "yeah, for how long? She'll leave sooner or later" "there's Meg, and Jodi and Becky, mum, dad, Nick. Claire we all care. And there's me! I'm never gonna leave you Claire. I love you. I thought we were gonna get married and have at least six kids. We've already started on the first one, five more to go" As he had been talking, he'd slowly moved closer until he had put his hands around her waste and was touching her tummy. The tinniest bump had started to show and it gave both Alex and Claire goose bumps as he touched it "do you really love me? I'm not just another one to tick off the list?" He gave her a look as she turned around to look at him. He wiped the tears from her eyes and said "I have always loved you and you weren't even on the list" he says as he picks her up and puts her on the bed. "Now, are we still getting married?" "Yes" she said as she undid Alex's shirt. "We've got some time to catch up on" Alex said as he kissed her. She giggled and pulled him down kissing him back.  
  
When they finally went downstairs, nobody said anything, they were just all glad she was back safe and sound. Alex and Tess both gave each other relieved looks. Claire didn't eat anything but headed out to fix the broken fence Becky said she was going to do. Alex hadn't noticed her slip out but when he realised she'd gone, he went after her, jumping in the back of the Ute as Claire drove off after loading it up with all of the equipment. Claire noticed, but kept on driving. She realised she would be able to spend some time with him. When Claire pulled up and started to unload the truck, he took away what Claire was holding and pushed her up against the Ute. "Alex, I have work to do" "no you don't" "what do you mean I don't?" "You can't seriously be thinking about working?" he said as he kissed her down the neck "and why not?" she said pushing him away. If he seriously thought what she thought he thought, he had to be joking. "There is no way you can stop me from working" "do you think I'm mad?" Alex said looking at her "Oh, right" she said a little shocked "well what did you mean then?" she asked him curiously. "You would rather work than be with me?" he had been thinking what she thought he had been thinking, but he knew better than to say it. Instead, he would try anything to distract her. He didn't mind her riding horses so much unless the doctor said not to, but there was no way he was going to let her do all the heaving lifting and any hard jobs. "No, but" "but what?" he asked, kissing her neck again. She wanted to give into him, but she knew the job had to be done and if he didn't stop kissing her neck. "Claire?" "Yes?" "We can do the fence in a minute" Alex pulled her up into the back of the van. Claire fell asleep in Alex's arms after they slept together. She was still so tired. Alex enjoyed laying there with her, but he knew he had to fix the fence before she woke up, or she'd do it herself. They were driving back after Alex had fixed the fence, before Claire woke up. She was a little dazed. She didn't know where she was at first or what had happened. When Alex pulled up, he explained how had done the fence, because someone had fallen asleep. "Well why didn't you wake me?" she asked. "Because if this babies anything like you, we're gonna have our hands full and so you need al the rest you can get" Claire raised her eyebrows at that and went to hit Alex in the stomach, but Alex grabbed her hand as it came at him, and pulled it behind him. He did the same to the other and then held her face as Claire grinned and he kissed her. They were really getting into the kiss. Whenever Alex kissed her, all these feelings came rushing to her and she felt like she was in her own world. Her heart started to pound and she still got goose bumps as well as a tingly feeling. That was the point when Liz showed up. She had felt so guilty about what had happened. The news of Claire and Alex had really shocked her and she just thought the worst. Nick had phoned his mother to let her know that Claire was back safe and sound. Liz just had to apologise, although the thought of Alex and Claire still puzzled her that was until that moment. She had been blind to Alex and Claire, and how well they went together. The thought had never crossed her mind because everyone wanted Claire and Nick to get together. She soon realised how blind she had been when she saw Alex and Claire kissing. They looked so perfect together. Anybody could see that, and they were so much in love. Liz really was sorry and happy for the both of them. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
  
It was now late June and Claire only had a month to go until she gave birth. She was so happy. Tess had moved in with Nick, not that you'd notice, she still worked at Drovers and spent more time there than at home. Claire was married to Alex, and everything was fantastic. Claire had never been happier, except for the fact that nobody would let her work. She couldn't even be on her feet for ten minutes without somebody saying anything. Alex couldn't wait to be a dad, but he was enjoying just being with Claire. Last year things had been so different. Claire had nearly gotten married to Peter and had his baby! It was a very hot day and Alex had to see his father about some business. It wasn't until after he had left that Claire remembered she had a doctor's appointment. Tess and Nick said they'd take her because they could pop into town and Alex could catch them up when he got home. Claire thought Alex would be back in time, but when they couldn't wait any longer, she let Nick and Tess take her.  
  
Alex couldn't believe he'd forgotten. He ran to his Ute and drove off in a hurry. He loved going to the doctors with Claire because she couldn't argue with them. It was great. She had to do what ever they said and she hated it. He was thinking about Claire when all of a sudden something ran out in front of the Ute. He had no idea what it was but swerved to avoid it. The Ute went out of control. Alex tried to steer it away from the tree but couldn't, it was too hard and he was too close and then there was a crunch and the Ute hit the tree straight on with full force.  
  
Claire was thinking about how much she hated the doctors and how Alex always sat there with a grin. She knew why it was. She just wished it was Alex instead because then she could sit there with the smug look on her face knowing that she couldn't argue with the doctor. They were too much alike. She laughed to herself. She was not looking forward to being told what to do. It was all of a sudden that they all noticed a Ute. It had crashed into a tree and it looked awful. All of a sudden Claire's heart started to pound and she was terrified. It looked like Alex's Ute. She couldn't sit still and as soon as they stopped, she jumped out and headed for the crashed vehicle. She just wanted it to not be Alex, she prayed that it wasn't. She felt sick in the pit of her stomach and as soon as she knew it was Alex's she went pale and nearly fainted. She started to run to the van to find Alex but Nick and Tess where at her heals holding her back. They were both as petrified. Claire was screaming out Alex's name wanting him to reply with all her might, but there wasn't one. She broke down on the ground in tears. The thoughts that went through her head were ones like, it cant be true, this cant be happening, he cant be dead, please say his not dead, what am I going to do, my baby's going to be without a father. I love him, he can't be dead. Tess was holding Claire, while Nick went to find Alex. He got to Alex and realised he was in a bad way. Alex was unconscious and bleeding pretty badly. He was still breathing though. He called an ambulance straight away and didn't dare more him. Claire went over and started crying even more. She got as close to Alex as she could and started stroking his face. He couldn't die, he just couldn't. She told him that to "Alex I love you, we're going to have a baby, you have to teach it to do all the things your supposed to like play games and fly your chopper. You're supposed to tease me and make me laugh and hold me close and kiss me. You can't die! We've got too much work to do. You can't die, I won't let you!" she couldn't see through all the tears in her eyes. She didn't know what was going on around her and she didn't care. All she wanted was for Alex to be ok. When the ambulance finally arrived, she stayed by his side and Nick and Tess were close behind in a frantic state.  
  
As they arrived at the hospital, Claire had calmed down and was in a daze. Everything was going in slow motion and she didn't know what to do. She paced outside the door of Alex's room until finally somebody came out to speak to them. "He's going to be fine. He's very lucky. He's got concussion and has lot quite a bit of blood, but with a few days bed rest, he'll be fine" Claire couldn't believe what she'd heard. An enormous amount of relief came over her and she could have cried again. They all went in and sat by his bed. Liz and Harry were called and it was when Nick went to get some drinks that he saw them. "How is he, what happened?" was all Liz could say "mum, calm down. He's fine, just a few cuts and burses and a concussion. He'll back to work within a few days." Liz was so relieved. They all went back to the room and Liz started fussing about how it looked. Claire didn't really say anything. She just sat in the chair, watching Alex. When it started to get late and a few yawns were shed, they decided they had all better go. It was clear Alex was going to be fine and he wouldn't wake up now until morning. "Come on Claire, we can come back first thing in the morning" Tess said. "I'm going to stay" "come on Claire, you need some sleep" "I'll sleep here" "you need a proper rest in your own bed" "Tess, I'm staying!" There was no way Tess was going to win. Claire had made up her mind and so reluctantly left. When they had all gone, Claire climbed onto the bed, resting her head on Alex's chest and cuddling up close to him. That was how she fell asleep.  
  
What was that? What happened? Where am I? God my head hurts! These were the thoughts that went through Alex's head as he came to. Claire was also woken up as the baby kicked. She moved her hand to her stomach as did Alex. She looked up at him and smiled. Her heart was pounding fast from the love she felt for him. The baby was kicking away and where Claire had been lying up against him, he could feel it to. Claire got off his bed and sat next to him as she stretched and yawned. Then she gave him a kiss just before the doctor walked in. "oh good, you awake Mr Ryan. How are you feeling?" "Like a Christmas and New year's hangover all at once" "well I'm not surprised. You have a concussion, a few cuts and bruises and you'll have to stay where you are for a couple of days" Claire grinned to her self at that point and Alex noticed "but you'll be glad to know you can be back to work in less than a week." "Thanks doc" Alex said as the doctor walked out. "What you grinning at?" he asked Claire. She had remembered thinking about Alex being told what to do by a doctor and it had come true and she found it amusing. She didn't answer his question though, her thoughts had moved on from that. "What the hell do you think you were doing? Didn't you realise you were supposed to miss the tree?" Alex was stunned. "And I thought you were dead, you nearly gave me a heart attack. You can't go and die on me like that you know Ryan!" "Oh so I have to ask your permission before I die now?" "Yes!" was her short reply before she smiled and kissed him again. He took her hand. "I'm not leaving you, so don't worry. You really think a tree's going to stop me?" "Yes, well, I'm beginning to realise how much this baby is going to be like you" the baby was still kicking away but the conversation stopped there as everybody arrived and saw Alex was awake. Claire moved away from the bed. She was feeling hot and didn't want to get in everybody's way. She was happy that Alex was ok. He was the only thing she could think about. He was the only thing that was important now. Nothing else mattered except Alex. He was loving it. He was getting all the attention. His mum had been cooking and making sure he was comfortable. He didn't have to do a thing. What he wasn't telling anybody was he probably couldn't move even if he wanted to because his whole body ached, but as usual, he was being the big brave macho man and nothing could hurt him. As Claire looked around the room with nearly everybody she cared about in it, she realised how lucky she was. Liz was fluffing Alex's pillow, Harry was trying to talk business but getting shouted at by Liz. Tess was holding hands with Nick and were chatting. Becky was talking to Brick. Jodi had been filing her nails but was being watched by Meg who about to tell her to shut up, because she knew Jodi was about to say something that she shouldn't. Then Alex mad a comment and everybody laughed. Claire didn't hear what was said. She just smiled at the picture of them all. As long as Alex was alright, nothing else mattered.  
  
She sat in the chair and remembered a picture she had on her desk at Drovers. It was of her and Alex on their wedding day. They were standing side by side, staring into each others eyes while both holding Claire's belly where the bump was showing. She remembered the day as if it was yesterday. It had only been small. They both didn't want anything big. Claire had a gorgeous dress that looked fantastic on her. Alex had a tux on. Claire nearly laughed when she saw him standing at the alter, but it would only have been a mask for what she was really feeling. Her heart was pounding and she was trying not to show how shaky she was. She loved Alex and wanted to be with him so much. Harry walked her down the isle after Tess, Becky and Jodi who were bridesmaids. Anna and Tom, with their kids were there. Meg sat with Liz, both in tears, and Nick stood next to Alex at the alter. As soon as she saw him and he saw her, the smiles could not be taken from their faces and their eyes could not be separated. She took his arm as the stepped up to the alter. The vows were said and then came the 'I do's' It was perfect. She chucked the bouquet and Tess caught it as both Alex and Claire gave Nick a teasing look. They were so much alike, it wasn't funny sometimes. At the reception, toasts were made "I would like to say that, I did it, I finally settled down! A one woman man! And a baby on the way, who would have thought it? Not me. If I was to predict my future, it never would have consisted of finding the love of my life, Claire McLeod of all people, get married and have a baby. But I did and have never been so happy!" They danced with each other for the first time as man and wife. The reception was great; it was one of the best days of her life.  
  
Everybody was so enthralled in what they were doing, they forgot all about Claire and so didn't realise the pained look she was trying to hide. They also didn't notice her get up and walk out of the room. Claire couldn't understand what was wrong. The baby wouldn't keep still and it was getting painful. The place was spinning and she was really hot. A nurse noticed and came over to her. "Are you ok?" "I'm fine" Claire sat down, took a couple of deep breaths and then she really did start to feel better. The baby stopped kicking, the room was still and she was starting to feel cooler. The nurse didn't think Claire was so great though so called over a doctor. "I'm fine, it just got a bit to hot that's all" Claire was adamant and stood up. The doctor made her come with him anyway. She sat in a room and when the nurse offered to get someone for her she said no. Claire thought how she was fine and there would be no point worrying over nothing. Alex needed the fuss, not her. The doctor took her blood pressure and a couple of other tests. "Your blood pressure is too high to start with" Claire looked a little concerned now. What if something really was wrong? The doctor noticed "But. all you need is some rest, take these tablets and drink plenty of water. You'll be fine don't worry"  
  
Claire went back in and sat back down. Nobody had noticed she had gone and she was glad. Alex looked so happy. A tear started to roll down her cheek as she though how she might lose the baby. It terrified her, especially with what happened to her mother. Then she wondered what Alex would do if she did lose the baby. Would he still love her, would he still want to be with her? She wiped away the tear quickly and listened to the conversation, forgetting about all her worries. They were all talking about the Gungellan show. "I guess you wont be competing again this year in the cross country?" Jodi said. Alex looked at her as if to say 'are you mad?' "Of course I am, and I'm gonna win" "Alex do you think that's such a good idea?" his mother said "I'll be back to work by the end of the week, so what's to stop me racing?" "Well I just don't think it's a good idea. Now you need some rest" everyone started to look at the time and realised how long they had been sitting there for. They all said goodbye and as they were walking out, Claire went over to say goodbye to him. She only kissed him on the forehead. As Claire turned to leave, Alex grabbed hold of her arm "your not leaving?" "I'll be back tomorrow" "cant you keep me company?" he patted the bed beside him. She avoided his eyes. "No, I better go, you need your sleep if you want to do the cross country" She left quickly before he could say anything else. He was a little disappointed.  
  
Claire was sitting in her room after she'd taken her food and went upstairs with it. Tess followed her up about half an hour later. Tess sat on the bed next to Claire. "Claire, what's wrong" "nothing" "Claire, you can tell me" "I said there's nothing wrong" "you're not yourself. You've hardly said two words today, and you didn't say a thing in the hospital. Alex is going to be fine, you do know that?" "I'm not stupid" "Claire I'm really worried, now will you tell me what's wrong!" 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
  
It was hard work being parents but they both loved it. They couldn't believe how much love they felt for their baby. He was perfect. It took them a while to get used to having the baby. Claire came home and felt so tired, but she was going to be fine. Alex had a massive go at her for not telling him what had happened, as did everybody else. She felt stupid and a little overwhelmed with all that had happened in such a short amount of time. Meg was a great help and Liz seemed to spend most of her time at Drovers admiring her grandson. Tess and Nick were a great help though as they tried to keep Liz away as much as possible. Claire loved watching Alex and Jack together. Alex would walk around talking to his son when he thought Claire was asleep. He would talk about Claire and him and all that they were going to do together in the future. The work didn't stop and as soon as Claire felt better she was out there again. There was always somebody willing to look after Jack, but whenever Claire could, she or Alex would take him with them. They made the perfect little family. Within the next couple of months Nick and Tess got engaged. Everything was great. Everyone was so happy. Liz was hinting at another grandchild from either of her two sons. Meg was giving a look to Jodi that said don't you dare, I'm too young to be a grandmother. Jodi gave her a look that said I'm too young to be a mother. Alex was working so hard, but it meant they never got to spend much time together anymore. Claire was trying to work, look after Jack and help Tess organise the wedding. With Claire being busy, Alex was working hard at Drovers, helping Nick out with the wedding as he was going to be best man, and also help out at Killarney as he was still going to inherit it. What little time they did spend together was great though.  
  
It was three weeks before the wedding and everyone was frantic. Alex and Claire were up early, working at various things all day and fell asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow, although not for long as Jack would wake up crying. They were both so tired. Alex said they'd go away after everything had settled, but when that would be, they weren't sure. "Are you ready?" Claire asked Alex. "Ready for what?" "Jack's doctors appointment" "Is that today?" "Yes, don't tell me, you can't make it" "I'm sorry Claire, I've got too much work on" Claire got in the car with Jack and drove off. Alex kicked the tree he was standing next to. He wanted to go. He loved them both so much, but he was working so hard for them. He wanted to be the best for them and if that meant working hard then that was what he had to do. Claire was furious. Alex said he loved them but when it came to sparing an hour, he wasn't willing to do it. Claire got to the doctors and after jack had been looked over, the doctor asked how Claire was doing. "I'm fine, sleep deprived but he's worth it." "Well this is his 10 month check so he needs some injections at a year, but apart from that, I don't need to see you any time soon. You do need to get some sleep though. Babies can pick up on it. He should be sleeping the whole night now though" "He is most nights. I've just been feeling run down lately. I think I'm getting a cold" "Could you be pregnant?" Claire had been wondering the same thing herself. "If I take a blood test and we should get the results back by tomorrow" he took her blood and she left with a lot more to think about. While she was in town, she had to pick up some bits for Tess. It was great walking around town with her son. He was looking more and more like Alex. She decided that if she was pregnant, she wouldn't say anything yet, at least until Tess and Nick's big day had come and gone. It wouldn't be hard to keep it from Alex as she hardly saw him as it was. She couldn't be that far along and so wouldn't show for a long time yet, and she hadn't had morning sickness yet, not that he'd notice that either. While she was in town, she ran into Harry and Liz who were always thrilled to see the pair of them. "What are you doing here?" "Just had a check up. Everything's fine!" "Where's Alex?" "He was busy" she tried to make it sound as if it was acceptable even though she hated the fact he didn't come. "So when do we get to see you again?" Liz asked enthusiastically. "Well, actually, you'd be doing me a big favour if you could look after him for me tomorrow for an hour or two" "we'd love to, wouldn't we harry?" "Yes, sure" Harry wasn't really paying much attention to what they were saying; he was more interested in making his grandson laugh. "Thanks, I'll bring him around about ten if that's ok?" "Cant wait" Claire was pleased she'd bumped into them now. She went home and was barely talking to Alex. He was eager to know that everything with his son was ok. "He's fine!" was all Claire said.  
  
"I won't be gone too long" Claire shouted out to Meg. "Where are you going?" Alex asked. "I, uh, I have to pop back to the doctors?" "What for? I thought you said everything was fine?" "it is, the doctor just ah, Jacks got a bit of a rash I want the doctor to look at so he can give me some cream" "I never saw any rash!" "Yes, well maybe you should open your eyes and pay more attention to the important things" she didn't give him a chance to reply, she had to drop Jack off at Killarney. She knew why Alex was working so hard and understood, but she missed him. She loved him and wanted to be with him all of the time. With all that was going on though, it made it so difficult, and she was just in a foul mood lately. With the possibility of being pregnant again, didn't make things any easier. She did want lots of kids, but everything was hectic. She knew why. The wedding. Tess wasn't really working because of it and Alex was up to something without Claire knowing. Claire quickly dropped Jack off at Killarney and went to the doctors. He confirmed that Claire was indeed pregnant. She was all excited. She really did want this baby. She loved being a mother. It was the best feeling in the world. All the anger she felt towards Alex had gone. All she wanted to do was tell him, but had decided to wait for Nick and Tess' sake. She couldn't wait to see the look on his face, and hopefully telling Liz this time would be a lot easier. She went and got Jack from Liz who had loved having him. She started to drive back to Drovers, but stopped by a tree. She got him out and sat under the tree, just enjoying being with her son. He was the most important thing in the world to her, and now she was going to have another baby. She pulled up at Drovers and went and put Jack down for a nap. She went down to the study where Alex stormed in after her. "So, what did the doctor say?" "He'll be fine; it's nothing to worry about" "where the hell did you go Claire?" "The doctors!" "Don't lie to me. Mum phoned and said you forgot his bottle when you picked him up. Now where the hell have you been?" She was angry now; he had no right to demand that of her. "It's none of your business!" "I'm your husband, of course it's my business!" Claire stormed out shouting back at him "look after Jack, he's your son, in case you forgot"  
  
Claire came back and found Alex asleep in the chair holding Jack. He came too as she was watching him. "I'm sorry," she said to him. "Claire, why won't you just tell me?" "There's nothing to tell" "well where were you?" "I just had a check up that's all" "well why didn't you say?" "I didn't want you to worry" "that's what I'm supposed to do!" they kissed and had an early night. It was days like that, which made all the bad ones bearable.  
  
The next few weeks went by quickly and in no time it was the day of the wedding. Tess was nervous but happy, as was Nick. Claire and Alex were acting like they'd just fallen in love. They were remembering their own wedding. The service was beautiful and the reception was fantastic. Claire and Alex danced and they were so happy. Harry, who hated these occasions, even if it was his own sons wedding, was looking after Jack. Alex took the micky as he'd never seen his dad act that way before, especially not with him or Nick as kids. Claire loved it because it meant that she got to spend time with her husband. Tess was so happy too and Liz was overjoyed that both of her sons were now married. Nick and Tess left for their honeymoon, they were spending two weeks in Europe and Tess was beside herself with excitement.  
  
Claire couldn't wait for everything to get back to normal. She woke up the next morning with the intention of telling Alex that night. She was strangely excited and in a good mood all day. When Alex did get home, he ate dinner, put Jack to bed and went and laid down him self. "Alex there's something I need to tell you" she started. "Mmmm?" was the reply she got "Well. I found out that I'm pregnant!" Claire got no reply. She turned around to face him and saw that he had fallen asleep. She couldn't believe her luck. The next morning, she woke up to find Alex getting dressed. As she realised she hadn't told him yet, she said, "Alex, we need to talk" "yes, sure, later when I get back" and with that he rushed out the door. Claire was not far behind him, but she was headed to the bathroom where she was sick. Claire had been up most of last night with jack, so by the time Alex came home, she had fallen asleep already on the sofa downstairs. Alex just covered her up and let her sleep. She looked so peaceful and he didn't want to disturb her.  
  
Claire woke up with Liz and Harry in the house. Liz was seeing to Jack when Harry walked in. Claire didn't stay put for long though. She had to rush to the bathroom. When she had finished being sick, she went back downstairs. "Are you alright?" Harry asked. "Yeah" was the short reply he got. "Where's Alex?" he asked "Don't ask me, I haven't got a clue. What are you doing here?" "Alex called, asking if we could look after Jack today" Claire was getting more and more annoyed with Alex. She hadn't been able to speak to him, he was organising things without asking her and he was no where to be seen. Claire had to rush to the bathroom again. Harry actually looked quite concerned when she came back down. She stood in the doorway getting ready to leave. "Claire, what's wrong?" "Nothing!" "What's Alex done now?" "Nothing I can't handle" "Claire." "I've got work to do, thanks for looking after Jack" she walked outside but nearly fell as her legs started to buckle underneath her. She grabbed onto the doorframe for support and sat down on the veranda. Liz had seen this, but Claire quickly went off to do some work before Liz got to her. Liz was concerned and went into Harry and said, "What did you say to Claire, she was almost in tears, and she nearly collapsed, is she ok?" "I haven't done anything, it's that son of yours" Harry got up to leave and Liz shouted after him "Harry, don't get involved, it's got nothing to do with us"  
  
Harry finally found Alex and started shouting at him. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Learn from my mistakes son, and don't let work get in the way of family. Now whatever you've done to Claire, fix it!" "What's wrong with her?" "Just fix it!" Harry left Alex to his thoughts. He was quite worried now. What was wrong?  
  
Alex finished what he was doing and went in search of Claire. She knew why he was coming over, she wasn't stupid. She walked in the other direction. Alex shouted after her. "Just go back to whatever it was you were doing. I know you're only here because Harry told you I was sick" "you're sick?" "Don't play dumb Alex. You should be here because you want to be not because your dad told you" she tried to walk away but she wobbled a bit and Alex had to grab her. She got her balance and tried to walk away again. Alex grabbed her around her waste. As soon as he touched her tummy she moved his hand away in anger. 


	10. Chapter 10

"Claire, if there's something wrong, you have to tell me!" "Well there's nothing to say then" "course there is, you sick, you cant stand up properly, has this got anything to do with you seeing the doctors" "I'm fine!" "Claire" she ran into the house and was sick in the bathroom again. Alex stood outside the door. "Claire?" "Go away" She was mad at him and didn't want to tell him this way "I'm not leaving until." she opened the door. "Fine, if you wont, then I will!" and with that she stormed off outside. Alex followed. "Talk to me Claire. We are supposed to talk to each other" "How can I talk to you when you're never around and if you are you're busy or tired or asleep" "I'm sorry, but I'm listening now." "Well I don't want to talk" "You are so stubborn sometimes" Claire got into the Ute "Where are you going?" He shouted, but she drove off without an answer. She drove to Willgaul where she it would be empty. She fed the animals and cleaned up bits and pieces. She went inside and drank plenty of water, but couldn't keep it down. She phoned the doctor and made an appointment.  
  
"So, what can I do for you? What did Alex say about the baby?" the doctor asked as Claire took a seat "I uh, I haven't told him yet. It was the wedding and I didn't want to spoil it for Tess and I haven't had a chance since" "Well what's wrong?" "I know I'm supposed to be sick, I've been through all of this before, but last time, I was never this sick. I can't keep anything down. I keep getting dizzy as well, and losing my balance" "Do you get hot flushes" "A little" "Have you been drinking plenty of fluids?" "Yes" "Have you been looking after yourself?" "I have a baby to look after as well as Alex" "you do have to take care of yourself you know. Now I'm going to take some tests" He took her blood pressure and a blood sample. He did some tests then and there. It seems you have a low amount of potassium so if you take these tablets, you should start to feel as normal as you can be when you pregnant in no time" "thanks" "just remember to not over do it and tell Alex"  
  
Claire phoned Liz when she got out of the doctors "Hi, is Jack still with you? Great, I'm just leaving town and I'll come and get him. ok bye" "Mum, where did you put his bib?" Alex asked after Liz had hung up the phone "Why don't you stay for a bit, have dinner with us?" "No, I better get going, I need to try and speak to Claire" "Is she ok? She really didn't look well" "I don't know, she wont talk to me. I better get going" "That was her on the phone, she's on her way over, why don't you stay and wait, I can give you two some time to talk and take Jack"  
  
Claire pulled up outside and was greeted by Liz "How are you feeling?" "I'm fine, where's Jack?" "Just round here" Liz led Claire around to the garden where Alex was sitting with their son. She stopped and watched them for a bit. She knew that Liz had probably had something to do with them both being there and then, but she wasn't ready to speak to Alex yet. She was still mad at him for not being around. She was angry with Liz and Harry for interfering and she was going to tell Alex when she was ready which would be when the tablets started working, which they hadn't yet. "Claire, how are you feeling now?" "I would feel a lot better if everyone would just stay out of my business Harry" she started to walk of to the Ute. "I was concerned that this son of mine wasn't looking after his family properly" "Well what happens when you're not around? He shouldn't need you to tell him what to do!" "I didn't tell him what to do, I just gave him some advice" "It has got nothing to do with you" "Claire, you didn't look well and I was concerned" "And I appreciate that but" She blacked out momentarily, but luckily Harry caught her. It was strange because it all happened so quickly, but with in seconds she felt as if nothing had happened "Go and get Alex" Harry told Liz as he set Claire down in the Ute "NO! I'm all right" "Claire what is going on?" "I. I just haven't eaten anything all day; I'm fine really. Alex needs to spend some time with his son, leave him" With that she got in the Ute properly and drove away. Liz and Harry were extremely worried about Claire. She had fainted, hadn't been well and there was something she wasn't telling them. Harry and Liz went and told Alex what had happened, and he too began to panic. Alex left straight away.  
  
When Claire got home she started to feel faint again and only just made it up to bed. She thought that if she got a good night sleep she would feel better. When Alex got home, he put Jack down in his cot and found Claire fast asleep on their bed. She hadn't even taken off her boots. She must really have been tired. He took them off for her and pulled the covers up. He gave her a kiss on the head and let her be. He really did love her and hoped that nothing was seriously wrong, only that she was tired and hadn't actually eaten anything.  
  
Claire woke up and didn't not feel any better at all. She thought that she would tell Alex, maybe the tablets would take a while to start working. She turned over to find that she was alone in the bed. He had gone already and it only made her angrier. At this rate the baby would be born before they had a chance to talk. He obviously couldn't be that worried about her if he had left. She didn't see him all day and after she managed to eat some toast, she didn't eat anything else, because she kept on being sick. She didn't do much work that day, but looked after Jack instead. She came down for dinner just to see Alex "He's working still, said he'd get something to eat later" Becky told them as she walked in. Claire went to walk out "You not eating Claire?" Meg asked, a little concerned "No, I'm not really hungry" "You all right, not like you to go off your food?" "Yes, I'm tired that's all" "You should still eat" "I've got to go and see to Jack" Luckily he started crying and left the rest to tuck into the apricot chicken Meg had made.  
  
Claire still felt no better and the tablets weren't working, if anything she felt worse. Everyone had gone to bed and while Claire had been sleeping, Alex had come home and was now fast asleep. Jack had started crying so she got up, but he wouldn't stop. She changed him, held him, fed him, burped him and he finally stopped crying and fell back to sleep. She walked out of the nursery quietly and then started to feel sick again. She went down stairs and got a glass of water. She sat down to try and stop her head spinning. She missed Tess, but luckily, she'd be back soon. She went outside to get some fresh air. She leant against the post and remembered all of the things that had happened there. On their anniversary, Alex had got rid of everyone for that weekend and Jack was at Killarney. Claire was annoyed because she thought Alex had forgotten what day it was, there was lots of work to be done and everyone had disappeared and Alex was 'sick'. She was in the middle of something when all of a sudden Alex sneaks up behind her and scopes her up in his arms, where he carried her inside where he'd run a bath for her. He got in too. "I thought you were ill" "You also thought I'd forgotten didn't you?" "Yes" "How could I forget one of the happiest days of my life?" "And the lack of help would be down to you?" "Yes" They didn't spend long in the bath, because when they got out, Alex had a dress laid out on the bad for her to wear. It was gorgeous and she looked fantastic in it. Alex appeared in the doorway wearing a suit. He looked so handsome and her feelings for him were as strong as ever. He walked over and kissed her, but as the kiss started to get passionate, he picked her up. He carried her outside where he had laid out a cloth, with candles and a meal that was evident Alex hadn't made. Actually Liz had, much to Meg's annoyance Claire found out later. Claire couldn't believe it. Alex was a real romantic at heart. He placed her down and filled her glass with Champaign as he sat down next to her. She cuddled up to close to him, it was so perfect. She laid back against him after they had eaten, with a glass in her hand and his arm holding her close as he rested his chin on her head. They watched the sun start to set and then Alex got up. He held out a hand to her and pulled her up. He turned on the music and the song that they danced to at their wedding started to play as Alex held her close as they danced. "I really do love you Claire. You and Jack are the best things that ever happened to me and I have never been happier. I know I don't always show it, but I really do love you more than anything." "Thank you, thank you for this, for Jack and for loving me as much as I love you" They kissed and the sun set, making the sky light up with shades of blue pink orange and red. It was beautiful, the moment was perfect and Alex carried his wife up to their bedroom where they spent the night together. She had woken up the next morning in his arms. She loved waking up in his arms. She felt so safe and loved, but that hadn't happened in a while. She remembered turning over. He was pretending to be asleep and made her jump when the arm she was laying on pulled her on top of him. He started to tickle her and she laughed so much. As she stood there she smiled. She also remembered that she had promised to never keep secrets from Alex and she was. All of a sudden she felt arms moving around her stomach and a head at her shoulder. "What are you doing out here?" "Jack woke up and I needed some fresh air" "Lets go back to bed" "Alex, we need to talk," she said turning around to face him. "I know, but do we have to do it now?" "Fine!" She said annoyed, about to walk off. "No, wait" he said taking her arm. She looked into his eyes "We do need to talk and now is as good a time as any" he told her "Are you sure, because I wouldn't want to keep you form anything" She said still with an angry tone. They both sat down on the veranda. "Claire, we really need to sort out what ever it is that's going on and we are going to do it now!" "You mean you don't even know what's wrong?" "All I know is that something's going on and you are not telling me what it is. I thought we promised never to keep secrets?" "We did, but I haven't been able to talk to you. That's half the problem" "Well what's the other problem, the fact that you fainted? What is wrong Claire, and don't tell me anything" "I would tell you if I had the chance" "Why do you think I work so hard? I want the best for you and Jack and I hate not being able to spend so much time with you but it's because I love you so much that I do work so hard" "I need you here with me though! I know you want to be a good father and husband, but if you want to be, you need to be here. I haven't seen you all day. When I do, you're too tired. Alex I miss you! I love you and I really miss you. I feel like we haven't spoken properly in weeks" "I miss you too. I do love you, you know" "Yes, well I just need reminding of that sometimes, that's all" "Things will get better when Nick and Tess get back, I promise. I've spoken to dad and I don't really need to go to Killarney and when Nick gets back I wont need to go to Willgal and I doubt we'll be able to keep Tess away from this place for very long" Claire gave a knowing look. He cuddled her. She felt better now that she had got it off of her chest. "Now, I'm here, I'm listening and I'm wide awake, are you going to tell me what's going on?" He was awake but she had fallen asleep as he cuddled her. He laughed to himself. He sat there for a minute just enjoying Claire cuddled up to him. The stars twinkled and as he started to get cold, he picked her up and carried her up to bed.  
  
Claire woke up smiling, but when she realised Alex had gone, she was instantly put in a foul mood. She didn't see him all day again. She couldn't believe it. It was if the night before had been a dream. She still couldn't eat, but when everyone had left she phoned and made another appointment. She felt terrible and was beginning to really panic. She was scared to pick up Jack in case she dropped him. She could only just bear to hold her self up when she got dizzy, let alone a baby. She then phoned Liz "I was wondering if you could look after Jack for me tomorrow. There is so much work to do at the moment and I know it's short notice." "It's no problem at all, we love having him. How are you feeling? Are you all better" "I'm fine, so if I drop him off at 11?" "We can pick him up. That will make it easier for you and I can see Alex" "No, it's ok, it's no problem really. Alex will be busy no doubt" "Is everything all right between you two?" "Yes, we're fine" "You can talk to me you know" "Thanks, so I'll bring him around about 11" When Claire had finished on the phone to Liz, she went and sat down in the kitchen with a glass of water. She felt like crying, when Meg walked in. "Claire, what's wrong?" "Nothing, I though you'd all gone?" "We had, but I was worried about you" "There's nothing to worry about" "Talk to me Claire" "I. I just don't know what to do" "What happened?" "I hardly see him anymore. I think I saw more of him when we were just friends. Last night we finally talked and I thought we'd sorted it all out, but when I woke up this morning, he was gone and yet again, I haven't seen him all day" "He is working for you and Jack you know" "I know, but." "What is it? There's something you're not telling anyone" "I." She took a deep breath "I just need Alex" she said "Don't worry, it will all work itself out" Claire wished it was that simple though. Meg left and Claire went to go up to bed, on her own, yet again. She had started to feel guilty. She thought how it couldn't be that easy for him. He was working so hard and there she just wanted more from him. She didn't know what to do. She didn't even make it to the stairs before she collapsed on the floor.  
  
Alex was pleased with himself. He had been working hard these past few days to finish a little project he'd been working on. He knew that Claire would probably be furious after talking last night and then disappearing all day, but he decided to get it done quickly. He couldn't wait to see the look on her face. He was still worried about her though, but now that they would be spending more time together, he'd soon make sure she was ok. He walked inside and was in shock when he found Claire lying unconscious on the hallway floor. He rushed over and tried to wake her. "Claire? Claire?" she started to come too "Claire, are you ok, what happened?" "Alex?" "I'm here don't worry? Are you all right?" "I'll be fine" "What happened?" "I don't know, I was about to go upstairs and I don't remember anything else" "Come on, I'm taking you upstairs" He lifted her up and took her to bed. He went to get her some water and also called the doctor. He went back upstairs to find Claire getting out of bed "Where do you think you're going?" "To sort Jack out" "You stay put, I'll see to him" He left Claire to only worry about her unborn baby. She didn't stay there long because she rushed to the toilet where she was sick. Alex went to make sure she was ok when he saw her rush past "Come on, back to bed while we wait for the doctor" "The doctor? I'm fine" "No you're not" "ok, maybe I'm not, but I will be" "What do you mean?" "I've already seen the doctor. I have a low level of something in my blood he's given me some tablets" "And were you going to tell me?" "Yes" "When?" "I've been trying to tell you, but you've not been here to tell" "I thought we weren't keeping secrets" "I'm not, I thought you weren't going to work so much?" "Yes well that's all going to change" "That's what you said last night" "Come with me, I've got something to show you" He got Jack and asked Meg to look after him for a bit and then jumped on a horse with Claire "Where are we going?" She asked as she sat with his arms around him on the horse. She felt safe and didn't have to worry about fainting again because she knew he would be there to catch her if she fell "Just wait and see. It's a surprise I've been working on" He rode and rode until they finally reached where he was taking her. Claire couldn't believe her eyes. Alex had built a little cabin. He took her inside. "I want this place to be full of happy memories. Where our kids run to when they're angry, somewhere where we know they'll be safe. Somewhere for us to have fun and enjoy ourselves" "This is where you've been spending all your time?" "Yes. I finished it today. I'm sorry I haven't been around, but I'm here now" "Good, because I'm really going to need you now" "Why, is there something else you're not telling me? It's not serious" "I've been waiting for the right moment. This place is great, it's fantastic" "Claire!" "I'm sorry, it's just with all the hormones and everything from being pregnant and everything, it would have been nice to know that you were leaving me to do something as amazing as this" "You what?" "I said this place is amazing" "No, the other bit" "Oh, didn't I tell you, I'm having another baby" she said as a smile spread across her face. "You mean." "I'm pregnant" "You're pregnant! We're having another baby! That's fantastic!" He hugged and squeezed her. He was over the moon; they were both so happy. "How far along are you?" "A couple of months" "A couple of months? How long have you known?" "A few weeks" "A few weeks?" "I found out before the wedding, when I had that appointment. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to spoil it for Nick and Tess. I was going to tell you straight away. I actually did, but you'd fallen asleep" "But what about you fainting?" "I saw the doctor and he gave me some tablets. They're not working though so I booked another appointment for tomorrow. You're mums gonna look after Jack" "I wish you'd told me sooner" "I was angry! But I have now" "And I'm thrilled but we better get you back before the doctor gets here"  
  
Alex sent Claire inside while he went to get Jack. "Is everything ok?" Meg asked as she handed Jack back to Alex "It's fine" "Alex, I know it's none of my business, but you have to do something. Claire really needs you for some reason. There is something wrong and she won't tell anyone what it is. I'm really worried about her!" "Meg it's all right" "No, it's not. I think she's really sick and you have to do something" "It's ok" "Alex, I don't think you quite understand" "Meg, I've got it" "You need to sit her down and make sure she talks and tells you what's wrong" "She has" "She has?" "Yes" "Well. what is it?" "I don't think I should say" "Why not" "Well the doctors on his way." "Doctor. Alex, if it's serious." "I hope not" "What's wrong?" "You cant tell anybody" "You know I won't" "I shouldn't be telling you this yet, not without Claire but. She's got low levels of something in her blood. The tablets the doctors given her aren't working and when I went into the house, I found her unconscious on the floor" "Oh God, is she ok?" "I hope so, I just hope the baby's ok, she's pregnant again" "Oh my God, that's fantastic! Congratulations!" "Thanks, I just hope everything ok. I better go" "If you need anything you know where I am" "Thanks"  
  
The doctor came and prescribed Claire some new tablets. He also said the baby was probable fine, but just to be on the safe side, to go and have scan tomorrow. When Claire woke up the next morning, she felt better already. Not only that, but Alex was still there. So much for feeling better though, she still had morning sickness and was in the bathroom in no time. When she went back into the bedroom, Alex was sprawled all over the bed. She watched him for a minute as she lent against the doorframe. He woke up and said "What are you doing standing there?" When he noticed her watching him. "I was just wondering where I'd fit in seeing as you've decided to hog the whole bed" "You have to lie on top of me. How you feeling?" "Better, except for morning sickness" She said as she laid on top of him "What's wrong?" "I'm just a little nervous about later" "Everything will be fine" "I hope so. I really want this baby" "So do I and I'm not going to let anything happen to either of you" "I said I'd drop Jack off at your mums about 11, I could always cancel" "No, I think we should. It gives us a chance to be together" "I don't want to tell anyone, at least not until we know everything's ok" "Don't worry, everything's going to be fine" He kissed her and put his arms around her.  
  
"Do you want to know the sex?" the nurse asked. Claire and Alex looked at each other. They hadn't thought of that. He was holding her hand. "It's up to you," He said. "I'd like to wait, at least for now. You can know if you want though" "No, it's ok, we can always change our mind" They smiled at each other and then turned their attention back to the monitor "Well everything seems to be fine. There's no damage and all looks normal. You have a healthy baby!" Alex and Claire were relieved. When they got out side Claire flung her arm around Alex. She was just so happy. Then they headed off to get Jack.  
  
They got out of the Ute and Alex put his arm around Claire as they walked in. Liz smiled straight away to find the two happy together. It was a relief. "Everything all right?" "Yes, just been to the doctors" Alex said quite light heartily. Liz didn't know what to think. She knew Claire hadn't been well, yet Alex was smiling, they were both smiling. "Everything's fine mum. Is dad about?" "Did someone say my name?" Harry said walking in "Claire, how are you?" He asked. He had been really worried about her "They've been to the doctors Harry" Liz informed her husband. "What's the matter?" "Nothing. I was a bit ill, but I'm better now" "What was wrong?" "Uh, low potassium levels in my blood. I've got some pills to take, I'll be fine" she said touched by their concern. "Actually that's not entirely true," Alex said. "What do you mean. You are going to be all right aren't you Claire" "Yes, nothing I haven't been through before" she said looking up to Alex "Mum, dad, we're having another baby" Liz and Harry were so happy "That's fantastic news. Congratulations. Everything is going to be ok though?" "Everything's fine. We just went for a scan" Claire go the photo out "How far along are you? Do you know what sex it is?" "I'm nearly three months and I think we're going to wait to find out the sex" "three months? Why didn't you say anything?" "I found out before the wedding and I didn't get a chance to tell Alex until last night" "and everything ok?" "Everything's fine" Claire and Alex left a lot happier this time around then they had done before. Claire held Jack and Alex held Claire as they sat on the veranda enjoying the quiet.  
  
When Tess and Nick got back, they couldn't wait to see Claire, Alex and Jack. They'd had a fantastic time and couldn't wait to tell everyone all that happened when they did manage to surface from the hotel room. They came over for dinner and everyone else knew about Claire being pregnant except for them. Claire didn't want to say anything until they had told all what they had done. She knew it was a special time that you didn't get again, so she wanted them to be as happy as they could be and not spoil it for them by taking away their thunder if you like it, before they had a chance to talk all about them. It was their special time. You could tell they were newly weds. They couldn't get enough of each other, although Claire, probably due to her hormones, did want to be parted from Alex for a moment. She became very clingy, but Alex loved it. Everyone was eating except Claire. She still felt a bit queasy so fed Jack instead. Tess told all about what had happened and they had a fantastic time. When dinner was finished and Tess had finished telling all her stories, they went outside. It was a nice warm evening and everyone was full from dinner. "So anything happen while we were away?" Tess asked, cuddling up in Nick's arms. Claire did the same in Alex's having just put Jack to bed. Everyone turned to look at Claire. She nearly laughed and Tess noticed "What?" She was intrigued now. "Oh nothing much, you now, the normal. Fed the cattle, mucked out the stables, had a cabin built for me and told Alex I was pregnant again. Nothing out of the ordinary" Everyone laughed at Claire's off handed speech and at Tess as her jaw dropped before she jumped up and gave her sister a cuddle. "Why didn't you say anything? That's great news, congratulations. Another little Alex, god" "Hey, why do I always get picked on? It might be a girl" "True. A little Claire, scary" "Hey" 


	11. Chapter 11

Claire was now showing. It was strange Tess not being there, but living with Nick. The past few years a lot had happened. Claire was married to Alex with a one-year-old child and their second on the way and Tess had married Nick. Alex was spending so much more time at home. He didn't have to go to Willgal very often or Killarney. Claire tried to do as much work as possible, as usual.  
  
"Claire, can I speak to you a minute please?" Tess had come over to find her sister. Claire was now eight months pregnant. She was also worried about Tess from the look she had on her face. She followed Tess inside "What's wrong?" Claire asked sitting down. "I'm late" "Late? For what?" "No, I'm late!" "Oh. Oh my god! Have you taken a test?" "No" "Are you ok? I thought you and Nick wanted to have kids?" "We do, I'm just a little nervous. will you come with me?" She asked showing Claire a pregnancy test she'd brought with her. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather Nick be with you?" "No. I don't want to get his hopes up and you've been through this before" Claire and Tess actually laughed as they both looked at Claire's already enormous belly. Tess went into the bathroom and then joined Claire in the nursery as they waited. Tess held Jack. She was really nervous. "Have you two been trying?" "Not really, but we haven't exactly been careful" "Do you want it to be positive?" "Yes, I guess I do. It would just be a bit of a shock so soon after getting married that's all. Not that there's anything wrong with that you know" "It's ok, I know what you mean" "You and Alex look really happy" "We weren't for a while" "what do you mean?" "After your wedding, I went to tell him that I was pregnant, but I couldn't. He was never around. Then I got ill and the tablets the doctor gave me weren't working. I think I nearly gave Harry a heart attack when I collapsed and he had to catch me" "Oh my God, what did you do?" "Ran. I told him I hadn't eaten anything all day and then drove off" "What did Alex say?" "I didn't give him much of a chance and he was too busy working. I was so angry. I thought we'd sorted it out one night, but when I woke up the next, he'd gone again. I didn't know that he had been finishing off this cabin. I was so angry with him. Then I collapsed in the hallway where he found me. We finally sorted it out. He'd finished the cabin and you two came back, so we got to spend more time with each other. I don't think it would have been so bad if I hadn't have been so pregnant. I felt abandoned and I really needed him. Pregnancy sends your hormones all over the place" "I had noticed" "And you've got it all to look forward to, as well as the baby kicking, look" Tess put Jack down and put her hand on Claire's stomach and felt the baby. It was magical. It wasn't the first time, but everyone loved to feel it, except Claire when she was trying to get some sleep. "Is this a private party or can anyone join?" Alex said walking into the room. He put his hand on her stomach too. He moved his other hand to rub Claire's back. He knew it was aching and he also knew just the thing to make it better. Claire's face showed how good it felt. Alex's eyes wondered to a test on the side. "Hey, whose positive pregnancy test? I think we can already tell Claire?" "It's positive?" Tess asked with an excited voice "Yes, what else would it be?" He then clicked that it was Tess' as she started to scream and hug Claire. Nick walked in then "What's all the fuss about?" "Nice one little bro" Alex said, but Claire elbowed Alex in the side. He tried to pretend it didn't hurt and Claire laughed "What?" Nick said confused "nothing, the baby's kicking, that's all" Nick looked a little confused but ignored it as he cuddled his wife "What are you doing here?" "Thought I'd come and see my nephew, that's all. What about you?" "I wanted to talk to Alex about something" "Can we talk first?" Tess asked him "I kind of need to speak to Alex, can't it wait?" Claire squeezed Alex's hand. He thought he was indicating for them to leave, but the grip got tighter "Ahh" he said as Nick and Tess turned to Alex. He looked at Claire and then saw the slightly pained look on her face. "Claire?" He said, "I think I just had a contraction" "but you're not due for another four weeks" "I know" "I'll go and get Meg" Tess said leaving the room. Meg came and Claire hadn't had another contraction. "False alarm" Meg told them all. "Give me heart attack why don't you" Nick smirked "I don't want your laughing at, you'll have to go through all this you know" opps, he thought. Luckily Tess hadn't heard. He tried to save himself by saying 'one day' but luckily Claire cut in saying, "Well I think this baby's trying to keep us on out toes." "Doing a bloody good job I can tell you" "Alex," Nick said nodding his head to the door, which they both walked out "what's up?" "It's Tess. She's acting strangely" "All women do" "No, I mean really strange. She's not been well and keeps on getting really moody" Alex tried not to laugh. He knew it all to well with Claire "talk to her, ask her about it. and whatever you do, tiptoe around her with everything you say and do, trust me" they wandered back in to Claire and Alex's bedroom where Claire now was. Alex sat down on the bed next to her and gave her a kiss. Nick put his arms around Tess "Are you all right?" she asked him. "Fine, we need to talk though" they were whispering "What about?" "You" "Me?" "Are you ok because you haven't been well lately and." "I'm fine, it's just morning sickness" Nick wasn't sure he'd heard her properly. He looked at her "I'm pregnant" she said. He stood there for a moment and then picked her up and cuddled and kissed her. Meg and the other two girls that had now joined looked at them wondering what was going on. Claire and Alex looked at each other and smiled as he put his hand on her belly with hers. He lent over and kissed her "I love you" he whispered. "I love you too" she whispered back. "What's going on?" Jodi asked. Tess looked to Claire and smiled as Claire smiled back. She was so happy for her little sister. Nick looked to Alex "You knew?" "Have a habit of walking in at the wrong moment" "What?" Jodi said impatiently. "I'm having a baby," Tess said excitedly. Everyone was thrilled. "Why doesn't anyone take the piss out of Nick, he's a Ryan too" "yes, but he got the decent jeans." Claire said teasingly. "You never complained" "I needed a challenge!" "Well I certainly got one living with you" Claire was fine so they all left except Alex, who laid next to her.  
  
Claire became really cranky. Even more than usual. Liz was over the moon about Tess. The prospect of three grandchildren was fantastic. Tess was glad that she had Claire who had been and was going through it all before her. Claire's baby was due any day now and she just wanted it to be over and done with. Alex hardly left her side and he had to be so patient with her. They did have a laugh though. Tess was around most days to see how Claire was coping. She felt as if the baby would never come. Tess offered to take Jack for the day. Meg had gone with Becky and Jodi to Gungellan. "Tess said she'd come and get him" "No it's ok. I'll be fine. You take him. I'm sure you'd love to get away from me. This baby's not coming anytime soon" "Must be stubborn like it's mother" "Or a pain like it's father" "Are you sure you're gonna be all right on your own?" "Yes. If there's any problem, I'll call Tess, now go" Alex kissed her on the cheek and left. Alex had only been gone a few minutes, when she started to feel very uncomfortable. She started to move around but it didn't get any better. It did go after a while though. She went into the study. Paper work was the only thing that she was capable of doing now. She sat there looking through the books, when the pain that she felt was unmistakable. It was a contraction and she started to breathe through it. She started to walk around, it helped slightly. She was in the kitchen when her water broke. She couldn't believe it. Of all the moments, it would be then when absolutely nobody was about. She picked up the phone and dialled Willgal. There was no answer. She waited five minutes, through another contraction before dialling again. Still no answer so she called Killarney. Luckily there was an answer "Liz, it's me, Claire" "Claire, how lovely, how are you?" "My water's just broke and I cant get hold of Alex, he's taken Jack to Willgal" "Where's everyone else?" "They've all gone to town" "What are you doing by yourself?" "I didn't exactly plan to go into labour when I was on my own" "I'll be over as soon as I can, just keep breathing and calling Willgal" Claire couldn't believe how quickly the contractions were coming. This was going to be a quick birth and she wanted Alex there. She tried Willgal again but still no answer. She didn't understand where they could be.  
  
Liz arrived with Harry. She was so relieved to have somebody there. Liz got Claire upstairs to her bed while Harry tried to get hold of Alex. Alex was at Willgal. They were outside and couldn't hear the phone. Tess was showing Alex a picture of her first scan. She was so happy and excited but apprehensive as well. She saw what Claire was like and wasn't looking forward to it "How is Claire?" She asked. Alex rolled his eyes "Great if you catch her in a good mood, but it's really getting her down. I hope this baby comes soon, for my sanity" "have you thought of names yet?" "No, not yet, she keeps on changing her mind, is that the phone ringing?" "It's probably just your mother" "Thanks for looking after him" "No problem, we love having him. You know his looking more and more like you" "Lucky fella" "You want a beer?" "Just a quick one, Claire said she'd be fine, but I don't want to be gone too long" They walked inside "Someone's desperate to get hold of you" Alex said. The phone was ringing again. Tess went and answered it "Hello?" "Hi Tess, is Alex there?" "Yes, why, is everything ok?" "Me and Liz are at Drovers, Claire's gone into labour" "Is she ok?" "I think this baby's waited long enough. Makes sure he gets here as soon as he can" "Ok, well be there soon" Alex looked worried. Tess turned to him "No time for that beer, Claire's gone into labour and it sounds like it's not going to be long" "Is she all right?" "Yes, your parents are with her" They all got in the Ute and headed for Drovers. Alex was impatient and was glad that Nick was driving and Tess had hold of Jack. When they got there Meg and the girls had got back from town. Alex jumped out of the Ute and ran into the house and straight to Claire's side. She was so relieved to see him. He took her hand and kissed her head, as he pulled back the hair from her face "It's ok, I'm here now, you're doing great" With in the hour everyone outside was told that Claire had given birth to a beautiful baby boy. She was exhausted and after everyone had come in and left, she fell asleep in Alex's arms as she watched her son in the cot next to her bed  
  
"So, have we decided on a name yet?" Alex asked Claire when she woke up. A cheeky grin appeared on her face and Alex raised his eyebrow "Worst comes to worst, we could always name him Marion after his father" "You do that and I'll divorce you" "What about Ben?" "Ben, I like that. How you feeling?" "Great. He's perfect isn't he?" "Yes, perfect, just like you" 


End file.
